SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

jemimapd posted 11/26/2013 16:17 PM

With more dramatic events daily and I'm the only one who seems to be surprised.

So, breast biopsy last week
Over the weekend STBX asks me for $20k on top of the settlement
STBX gets very ugly, very quickly. I move out to a hotel with DD yesterday.
Last night, by the way, DD who is six sleeps through the night without coming into my bed and wakes up late for the first time in weeks.

The hearing is tomorrow, Wednesday.

So today I get a call from a good friend. She sounds very upset. She tells me that she has been in agony about calling me... She says she feels duty bound to tell me something in case I am wavering about the divorce.

She tells me that STBX made a pass at her five years ago when I was away on a work trip. She rebuffed him.

I was OK. I thanked her for telling me, told her I loved her, told her she had done the right thing. Told her it was 100% on him. I believed every word she told me. She is married, honorable, the type of person who walks the walk.

I confronted STBX after he took DD for lunch (she was in the car).

He was very quiet for a while. Then he denied it utterly and said,
"Now I know who my friends are."
I know he will never tell the truth. He lies, lies, lies. It is in his blood.

She protected him for years, gave him the benefit of the doubt, was afraid of losing my friendship. She is not a worldly person, I completely understand her actions.

She said she had felt tormented but I deserved to know.

I'm OK. It is horrible to say this but I'm at the point where nothing about this man surprises me. I just want to be single.

Williesmom posted 11/26/2013 17:47 PM

Yep. We all have our Jerry Springer points in our lives. I've certainly had mine!

peridot posted 11/26/2013 18:43 PM

She at least came out and told you. Seems a lot of us have the daytime soaps going on.

PurpleRose posted 11/26/2013 18:54 PM

I'm glad you got out of there. And your poor little one-- finally getting a good nights rest. :(

HurtButHopeful? posted 11/26/2013 19:31 PM

Bless your friend! What an awful secret to have to withhold. She is on your side, and doesn't judge you.

Good you are getting that dead weight out of your life.

I hope our DD is starting a new pattern of sleeping through the night!!

(((((jemimapd)))))

MakingLemonade posted 11/26/2013 19:32 PM

Same thing happened to me. Confession after the reveal. X made a pass at a mutual friend 17 years ago. Never questioned my friend. And no, he was not happy with her for ratting on him. Just another affirmation our (X)WSs are deeply broken and have been for a long while.

(((jemimapd))), sorry for all the drama with your STBX. Continue to take care of yourself and love on that sweet DD.

Nature_Girl posted 11/26/2013 20:02 PM

Oh, your sweet baby girl. Isn't it amazing to see the changes in our children once we get their toxic parent out of the day-to-day?

So what are you going to do for living space?

HurtsButImOK posted 11/26/2013 20:46 PM

Sorry STBX is upping the cray cray and creating such drama.

I just want to be single.

jemimapd, I hope you get your wish very soon so that you and DD can start moving forward towards the brighter days to come.

My situation felt more like a really, really bad (and long) episode of Pranked

PurpleBirch posted 11/26/2013 20:54 PM

((jemimapd))

Do you have somewhere else to go? Hotel bills can get expensive pretty quickly.

Here's hoping your biopsy results are fine!

jemimapd posted 11/26/2013 21:47 PM

STBX says he s moving out today. If not, we have a back-up plan with a friend and court action assuming he agrees to the dissolution tomorrow, Wednesday.

I am completely exhausted. You know that sick feeling when you get that type of news. I just feel revolted he could sink that low. He has no morals and also no honor.

I know it's not about me but I feel humilated and embarrassed by this idiot. I feel like a moron for marrying him.

I hate drama. I'm a very private person. But he has been acting like a fool for years, bringing these OW into my life, I have lost all respect for this fake human being.

HurtsButImOK posted 11/26/2013 22:30 PM

sending positive thoughts and mojo for your hearing tomorrow.

careerlady posted 11/27/2013 00:30 AM

Oh hey I know how you feel. My dearest best friend told me she felt STBX was hitting on her years ago when I told her about the divorce and intimated that the same thing happened to my other best friend. My other best friend had gotten it even worse. I remembered I found out they were hanging out a few years ago and told them I wasn't comfortable with it. Turns out STBX kept inviting my friend and acting as though I would be there or encouraged it, and had Ben getting creepy on her (peeing in front of her on the side of the road creepy). He also told her to text his work phone cause I don't check it.

If I had known he was doing this stuff we never would have had DS, so I guess I can't regret it too much. It's embarrassing as hell but what can we do? Move on!

Nature_Girl posted 11/27/2013 01:27 AM

peeing in front of her on the side of the road

Whoa! 'Cuz nothing makes a woman hot & bothered, ready to have a man rip her bodice and engage in amorous congress, than to have him take a whiz in front of her. Double seduction points if he ate asparagus earlier in the day, triple hat-trick if he lets out a squeaker.

jemimapd posted 11/27/2013 06:19 AM

careerlady, yuk. I'm glad you know the truth, though.

I always thought to myself that at least his activities were compartmentalized outside the home. Nope. This took place while they were in the house, she was helping him with DD when I was away for work.

Another "At least he didn't...." gets crossed off the list. He would have been more than happy to have sex in our bed. The only reason it didn't happen is because she rebuffed him.

Skan posted 11/27/2013 16:39 PM

Hoping that everything went well for you today!