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Newest Member: Findinghope101 (61130)

User Topic: Caring for Parents
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My mom is 65 and in decent health, but has never prepared for retirement. She has her house, which is not free and clear yet, but has a low monthly payment, and a little savings (as in maybe $2K). She now receives SS but only about $650 per month and her hours at her part time job were just cut back. She is freaking out because she doesn't know how she will make it.

So I know I'm going to have to help. It's not that I'm not willing, but my mom has always been stubbornly independent and wouldn't listen to anyone regarding financial planning so it's a little frustrating that I now need to accommodate for that. I'm the oldest of two, my younger brother is 15 years younger and going to school full time, so I doubt he will be able to help. However, I'm also still supporting two young adult children as well. (Hope to change that soon, but it takes time).

Has anyone dealt with assisting a parent financially? Any suggestions???

Me: BW-46
Him: XWH-46

Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

Posts: 5285 | Registered: Mar 2011
♀ 20563
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had to help my in laws. Are you asking for suggestions on how to get her to accept? Or best things to help with or other agencies that can help?

There are programs for helping seniors out with the electric bill, meds, etc.

Pride can keep someone from asking for this help.

We ended up covering some routine monthly bills and giving grocery store gift cards a lot among other things.

Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 8381 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This can be a very trying time for both you and your mom. As a Care Manager I have had to help seniors realize that accepting help is not a bad thing, and will often allow them to stay in their own home.

I would encourage your mom to see what she may be eligible for and ways to cut costs. Is so so strapped financially that she qualifies for food stamps, many seniors unknowingly do. Is she paying an outragous amount for her Medicare supplemental insurance if that's the case have her look into a Medicare Advantage program, this can save Thousands of dollars a year in premiums and deductibles, and some of those plans are better and more benefits than traditional medicare and include things like dental, which if she is paying for separately again frees up more money.

Does she have Cable, does she really need it? That can save a boat load of money, is she driving a new or older car? If she has her vehicle paid for, and has a good driving record talk to the insurance company about knocking down her costs, which they are usually willing to do for young seniors (esp if they have been a customer for a long time, and may have to drop if they don't get a break).

Can she refinance her house? Reverse Mortgage?

These are all ways that she is getting some financial breaks without really accepting help from others, and can be enough to make the difference.

Him: FWS
Kids: 18 & 20
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

Posts: 13172 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 3

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