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Why is it so hard for him to cope with my health condition?

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MOTG posted 11/27/2013 06:56 AM

This is really irking me to no end. I guess I just realized that we reconciled before and all was going well until I started having issues with my health again. It's not my fault I have a medical condition that can have ups and downs. I don't feel guilty for being sick. I do understand that it's hard on the people around me but if the tables were turned I think I would have compassion for him. It's so selfish that when I'm sick he gets all woe is me. I understand he has to pick up the slack but that's life. It's not always fair. I hate being sick to no end. How do I convey that I will have ups and downs for the rest of my life. It's no excuse for he has done but if he approached the situation with compassion and concern for me it might make it easier for him to mentally stay here. That is our big issue him emotionally checking out on me. I'm just so aggravated with this oh it's always 70/30 nonsense when I'm still giving my 100% that is just inhibited by my health.

WhatsRight posted 11/27/2013 08:59 AM

Your post spoke to me.

My husband is paralyzed from the armpits down. He was already disabled when I met him. We have been married over 25 years.

Here is the deal with me. I chose him to marry. I knew it would be a hardship at times. I knew he could never walk down the beach with me or carry me to bed if I fell asleep on the couch. But I chose him over anyone else who was fully able-bodied.

Not only did I have to do all of these 'extra' things for him, but then he was unfaithful. He thinks it is awful to consider his disability when I measure my pain at his betrayal - but I do. Somehow, right or wrong, I feel more betrayed because of all I have done 'extra' for him, and all I have done without.

At any rate, my point is that I, like your husband, have delt with health issues of my spouse - PLUS INFIDELITY - and I didn't betray him. I have not cheated on him. I have not left.

Your health issues are ZERO excuse for his behavior. Period.


ps On the subject of health, have you tried juicing? Read up on it. It can be a lifesaver for energy and overall health.

Sending you strength.

MOTG posted 11/27/2013 09:09 AM

I've been working on changing our diet as a family to a more healthy lifestyle. Raw foods, lower carbs and organic. I'm hypothyroid and I was doing well until I had to bring my young daughter in for an x-ray. I had to hold her and forgot to ask for the neck cover for my thyroid. That was in April and my thyroid went all wonky and it's still off. My dr has doubled my meds but I'm still working to find the right dosage. I'm very lethargic and foggy. Hopefully with in the next few months my health will be back in order.

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