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Cheaters playing the victim pisses me off... Please Help!

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marionwendy posted 11/27/2013 08:50 AM

Well its been 3 months since my DD, and Im still a screaming mess. Some days are better than others and I don't seem to cry as much. My WH A started in feb with just texting then PA happened one night in May as he worked out of town so he was back and forth from our hometown to where he was working. He lied in the beginning about the whole ordeal until I got a hold of his phone and found all the texts(which he later deleted and reset his phone). So I was unable to view all that was said between the two of them. He has come clean with how they met,(he doesn't even know her last name). He cries all the time apologizing, telling me he doesn't know why he did what he did, he said that he wasn't even attracted to her in that way! He has NC with her and has had none since DD. I also texted her to let her know I know and that there will be no contact between the two of them. She is also married and told my husband they live in the same house and co parent their children, but are not together, yah right! She only texted with my WH never a phone call! She told my WH that the walls were thin! LIAR! SLUT! (Husband of mine is very stupid)! What was the first clue Sherlock???? He begs me to forgive him says it will never happen again, is going to MC and also looking for a new job so that he is home all the time not on the road. He has been honest with family members and our grown children about what has gone on. Days when we fight though things come out of his mouth. He has said things like.... She complimented me at the bar I didn't approach her, I wouldn't of asked her for her phone number if she didn't come up to me! or.... If her husband was doing his job maybe she wouldn't of come on to me...or....I wanted to see if her tits were real? or.....She lied to me! She said her marriage was an unhappy one!!!! HELLO! You were married you Flaming Idiot! POOR WH its all someone elses fault! Oh and the biggest one of all ( I was Really Drunk I wouldn't of had the one night of sex with her If I was sober! But continues to beg for forgiveness, cries at the drop of a pin, Tells me Im the only one for him, to please forgive him, that his family is important and that's all he wants, Who is this man Ive know for 21 years? I don't believe what he tells me I don't know what is truth and whats a lie? Please Help!!!! Im so new here!

steadfast1973 posted 11/27/2013 08:55 AM

He will mourn the A. My H did after his EA.

Dawn58 posted 11/27/2013 09:00 AM

I don't know if this helps at all.....be sure to read the healing library, post here often. For me, I had to listen to his actions, not his words. I have to qualify that though, he never was remorseful or wanted to work on the marriage. He lied to me and all I could trust were his actions when he was trying to eat cake.

There are lots of people out there that reconciled the marriage, so I am sure they will have more sage experience to share with you.
(((hugs)))

confused615 posted 11/27/2013 09:12 AM

First...you need to call her husband and tell him. I bet he will be really surprised to hear his marriage was over.

It doesn't matter if she ran into him naked and waiting..he still should have said no.

He needs to own this. Read the 180...do it.

He was drunk or he wouldn't have done it? Um..was he drunk in the months he was sexting her?

180 his ass. A wayward throwing a pity party for themselves,while their BS is bleeding out is a coward.

FTG.

Skan posted 11/27/2013 12:38 PM

Poor man. He was just standing there, all helpless, and this FLOOZEY threw herself on his dick. He didn't mean to screw her it's just that he was in such shock that his body just took over when he had a vjj mounted on him!

Spare me.

When you're married, the only acceptable answer is NO when someone come on to you or when you think about coming onto someone else. And NO is a complete sentence.

Skan posted 11/27/2013 12:38 PM

Poor man. He was just standing there, all helpless, and this FLOOZEY threw herself on his dick. He didn't mean to screw her it's just that he was in such shock that his body just took over when he had a vjj mounted on him!

Spare me.

When you're married, the only acceptable answer is NO when someone come on to you or when you think about coming onto someone else. And NO is a complete sentence.

Ostrich80 posted 11/27/2013 13:43 PM

Words mean nothing, neither does crying..its actions. He s saying all the bullshit but what's he doing to fix it? That's when you will know its real He can't even admit he's effed up.. he's blaming ow for ?? tricking him, forcing him?? He doesnt get it and that would be very frustrating. Tell him to suck up the waterworks and show he's sorry.

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