He is begging me to stay, begging me to help him.
My XWH did this too. It is a manipulation tactic.
He cried crocodile tears, begged, and pleaded. He agreed that he needed help, didn't know why he was the way he was, yadda yadda.
Then as soon as I showed any sympathy or tried to "help" him, he screwed me over again. He NEVER actually got counseling (stating later that he knew himself and counseling wouldnt help him). He never did any reading or attempted to "self help". Take a look at my signature. I stayed in this insane cycle for over 15 years.
YOU cannot help him. He has to make the changes himself (or with the help of a professional).
YOU are not responsible for his behavior.
YOU are not to blame for his behavior.
If I could do it all again, I would boot him out the door until he showed REAL change.
Oh- and I tried the "roommate" style marriage for the last couple of years. It is its own type of hell, but by then I had an exit plan (finish my degree, etc) and stuck it out.
Given the fact that he is a repeat offender, do you really think he's going to change?
You are worth so more than what he is giving you.
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.