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I'm freaking out!

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traicionada posted 11/27/2013 10:31 AM

The night terrors stopped 2 1/2 years after day and with them the dreams also went away. After 2 years of therapy, I made peace with it. I resigned myself to leave in a world without dreams. Until 2 days ago, the dreams are back and with them the XH. Needless to say, I'm freaking out. I haven't been to IC in over a year because my therapist swore I was fine. Guess what? Today, I don't feel fine. Today, I feel scared, sad & just flat out pathetic I vanquished him from my mind long ago; he doesn't get to come back. Ugh! Now, I feel stupid for crying

nowiknow23 posted 11/27/2013 10:37 AM

Honey - you are not stupid! Of course you're crying. You thought you had cleaned house thoroughly only to find more stuff to clean. You're entitled to those feelings, traic.

You know the drill. Self care today. Maybe consider a revisit to IC?

(((((huge hugs)))))

Ashland13 posted 11/27/2013 11:57 AM

Setbacks come here, too. We're entitled, Traic. Don't beat yourself up but get back up when you can and think of all the progress you've made.

Sometimes the pain makes it hard to see how hard we've come, but it's there, nonetheless.

One thing that helped me, FWIW, is to tell myself repeatedly about "today".

"Today", I am ok. "Today", Perv is not important.

"Today", I did all these things and I made a list of all the stuff I did on my own. I look back at it at night when I'm down and it helps every time.

Making "today" a present tense time helps reel our brains back into the now. This was a tool that an IC gave me and it helped during some pretty dark days.

StillLivin posted 11/27/2013 16:13 PM

With these kinds of situations, it just means you are getting stronger and ready to deal with the serious hurt. You've dealt with a lot, maybe there were some unresolved issues your subconscious didn't want to give your conscious just yet.
Plus, it's the holidays. Of course that is gonna trigger some things too!
Tomorrow is a whole new day.

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