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ninebark posted 11/27/2013 12:44 PM

I am so ANGRY today!!!

STBEXH told DS on the weekend that he would take him to see a basketball game tonight with one of DS' buddies from martial arts class and friend's dad.

DS has guitar lessons and then he can go after. So we leave for lessons at 5, it is currently almost 3 and I have heard nothing from him. No confirmation of what time he is coming, if he is coming...etc.

I want to call him, just so DS will have a good time and not be dissapointed, but at the same time I am tired of being the one to make all these arrangements. If he wants to be a father to our son he really needs to step up to the plate. TO call or not to call that is the question (and can I do it without getting snarky)

Ugh sometimes I really hate that man!!!

nowiknow23 posted 11/27/2013 12:54 PM

Would it be unusual for DS to call his father and inquire, leaving you out of it?

ninebark posted 11/27/2013 14:02 PM

That is exactly what I ended up doing. I asked DS about supper and he said "dad is taking me out". So I told him he had better call dad. I know ex forgot but at least he is going to do it.

devistatedmom posted 11/27/2013 18:55 PM

Yep. He's 12. He can speak to XH when needed. Take yourself out of the equation as much as possible. It sucks when they can't remember from day to day what they promise.

ninebark posted 11/27/2013 21:23 PM

It's true, DS is going to have to deal with his dad. I just hate seeing him disappointed when his dad makes yet another promise and then forgets about it.

He didn't get to meet up with his friend either...but at least he had a good time at the game.

Gemini71 posted 11/27/2013 23:47 PM

Texting is a wonderful thing. I don't have to hear SXTBXH's voice, and I can take all the time I want to decide what to say or not to say.

i.e. "DS will be back from lessons at 5:40. Please confirm that you will pick him up for the game at 5:45."

Pass posted 11/28/2013 08:44 AM

I know you don't want your son to be disappointed, but it IS going to happen some time. I've been told many times on here that I am no longer responsible for the relationship The Princess has with our boys.

You handled this well, but you may want to consider letting it play out next time. Your boy will be disappointed, and you will be there to help him through it. He has a lifetime of dealing (or not) with this arsehole ahead of him. He might as well learn who is the reliable parent.

But I know it sucks.

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