The absence of "I love you" happened in about 10 days...WH moved out with a freaking quickness...I mean, who makes decisions about destroying their family that fast? It's just nuts...And, no matter how bad I want to be blase about it, it is killing me...To top this whole mess of a situation off, WH mentioned (in a text, he wont actually speak to me-probably because that might make me a "real person" and I am pretty sure it suits his agenda right now for me to be the fictitious bitch he has created in his mind) that he hasn't told any of his family members that he left us...said that "it didn't work out well for him last time and he is trying not to repeat the same mistakes..." Um...WTF??? He cant actually think that there is a chance in hell that he can come back home, can he?
What is up with the weird mind games...I know he's been to see a lawyer...WH says he hasnt filed and isn't going to-he just wanted to protect himself during the separation (which I dont really believe, because he saw an attny 4 days before he moved out and, really, most of what comes out of his mouth is a lie). WH swears that he is going to continue to support DD and I...He even announced this to the elders of our church...but we have no freaking clue where he is! This is just nuts...and I'm TRYING to 180, but failing miserably, because this whole situation sucks and it doesn't make ANY SENSE.
It just doesn't add up...And not having all the missing pieces is eating me up inside.
Sorry...just needed to get it all out somewhere.
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Sending you strength, honey.
This is it. The darkest day. The blackest hour. Chin up, shoulders back. Let's see what we're made of, you and I.
- The Doctor
I hope you can find some peace in the decision. Having a direction and a purpose can be empowering. Sure beats living with an unremorseful spouse!!
Acts like he's all concerned about the kids but it's just for show. Lots of calls and texts to them/about them but in reality spending next to zero actual time w/them and paying no CS.
I truly hate him right now. But yet I completely understand when you say it cuts to the bone. The fact that he can be so cold and callous to me after everything he has done absolutely cuts to the bone. I wish I had some sage advice to make you feel better but can only offer that I know how you feel and you are not alone. The people on this site are absolutely amazing.
It has been my experience (read: learned the hard way, repeatedly) to trust absolutely nothing that comes out of STBX's mouth. I say this about him because it is so fitting "you know how you can tell if STBX is lying? his lips are moving"
One last tidbit from my personal experience - it has been 3 weeks since my STBX blindsided me, my IC and his IC in our first MC session w/the fact that he "thinks" this is a waste of time and he's "done" - since then he has made MANY comments about not rushing into the D, let's come up w/a temporary arrangement (CS, etc.), we don't need lawyers/let's try a mediator - but don't be fooled - he blindsided me yesterday by having me served another helping of what another BS called his "shit sandwich" - yup he served me w/ divorce papers - from HIS LAWYER.
It took my STBX 1 DAY, yes exactly 1 day to drop the "i luv u's" from his texts. Shows me how much he meant it
It still hurts though. And it SUCKS that it hurts. ((((hugs to you)))
he blindsided me yesterday by having me served another helping of what another BS called his "shit sandwich" - yup he served me w/ divorce papers - from HIS LAWYER.
THIS is what I am petrified is going to happen as soon as we get back from Disney...and I know the divorce is coming, so it's not so much that, I just need a little more time to prepare myself...and to get DD to a place where SHE can process it too...and to say goodbye to the freaking dream house that I designed from the floor to beautiful light fixtures that I will no longer get to live in...I'm REALLY going to miss that house