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Hi all,

So tomorrow is potentially going to be the weirdest Thanksgiving I've ever had, and I'm scared. I'm driving 1.5 hours to the home of my ex-stepdaughter (DD22). She's hosting dinner with her fiancé, her baby, and her fiancé's large family, most of whom I have met before. Three of her four brothers (DS16, DS18 and DS19) will also be there, along with DS19's girlfriend and baby.

So yeah. I'm spending the holiday with 4 of my ex's 5 kids, both his grandsons, his other exwife, (the kids mother), and possibly his own mother if her plans stay the same. XWH and OW are going to his father's house, which is not surprising since his father (also a cheater) has been quite welcoming of OW. That gathering is taking place about 30 minutes from where I will be.

I feel so lucky to still have the love of even part of this family. I feel so lucky to not be spending the holiday alone. I know I shouldn't whine. But... I'm scared.

Scared how his boys will react to seeing me for the first time since the divorce, when I know they've had to spend time with OW.

Scared to interact with his other exwife. I think this will probably be easier than it ever was before, since he cheated on her as well... but this is uncharted waters we're in so who knows?

Scared XWH and OW will show up. I doubt it, since DD22 very specifically didn't invite him, but it's so close that I wouldn't put it past him to just "stop by", since nearly all his kids are going to be there. His mother told me his "feelings" were very hurt that he wasn't invited. I'm not convinced his has any actual "feelings", but I imagine his pride is smarting a bit.

I'm not sure if he knows I'm going to be there or not.... but even if he knew, would that stop him from coming over? I don't know.

The bottom line is this sucks all the way around. Sucks that because he is selfish, narcissistic ASS, that this family is broken apart. Sucks that even my memories of last year are tarnished because he was treating me horribly... though at the time I didn't know why. Sucks that the kids are put in this position. Sucks that he's destroying what relationship he ever had with his daughter to the point that she invited me, rather than him. I'm glad that she did, but it's still sad.

I guess I'll just be relieved when this holiday is over.

I think it's really awesome that you got invited. Granted, it's kinda weird. But clearly you had a positive impact on your step kids and his ex-wife knows it and respects you for it. That's a wonderful thing. And she's been where you are so she'll probably know just what you need to feel welcome.

My husband left me on Thanksgiving, so I know how hard it must be. But life really does move forward and now I look forward to it. ((((hugs)))) and prayers are headed your way.

Concentrate on enjoying the time with loved ones. Do NOT give him any headspace tomorrow. It's about you and them tomorrow...NOT him.
It's gonna be ok. It really is. Who gives a rat's behind if he shows up. He will be the outsider posturing. He and his whore will be the ones that will feel like idiots if you play your cards right. But don't stress it or prepare for it. Might even surprise everybody and stay up under his rock tomorrow!