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ruinedandbroken posted 11/27/2013 18:06 PM

Eff you for putting so much societal pressure on family and togetherness.

Eff you for making me feel so empty because my kids are with their dick-head of a father for the entire Thanksgiving break instead of with me.

Eff you for all the heartfelt Thanksgiving dinner commercials on t.v. showing in tact families sooooo happy and fullfilled.

Eff you for for making me feel like crap at my 6 year old's Thanksgiving feast where all the kids talked about their yearly family Thanksgiving traditions. My kids Thanksgiving are never the same from year to year.

Eff you for making me feel like a loser because I am having dinner with a friend's family because I don't have much of my own.

Eff you Thanksgiving and a double Eff you to Christmas. Eff both of you. I used to love you and now you break my already shattered heart.

gonnabe2016 posted 11/27/2013 18:09 PM


miadianna posted 11/27/2013 18:20 PM

(((hugs))) I understand and feel the same. It's such a difficult time of the year for us. Strength and hugs.

gypsybird87 posted 11/27/2013 18:27 PM

Amen and ditto.

I used to look forward to the holidays all year. Now I just want to get through them in one piece.

Sometimes I feel like there's nothing left in my life that he hasn't tarnished in some way.

PurpleRose posted 11/27/2013 18:28 PM


I'm sorry you are so down. I have a love/hate with Thanksgiving ever since the Dooosh moved us 3 states away from our families. This year it's just me and 2 of my kids (oldest is working). We have also been invited to 3 dinners - so I let go of feeling like an outsider and have accepted dinner with one, dessert with another, and Black Friday shopping with the third!!

I hope your day is full of comfort...

ruinedandbroken posted 11/27/2013 18:32 PM

I used to look forward to the holidays all year. Now I just want to get through them in one piece.

Sometimes I feel like there's nothing left in my life that he hasn't tarnished in some way.

Same here

Thefly559 posted 11/27/2013 19:39 PM

Amen. I agree. I would like to add an fu to my x Inlaws. Thank you.

nowiknow23 posted 11/27/2013 19:58 PM



Gr8Lady posted 11/27/2013 21:55 PM

I am fortunate to have friends. But the holidays certainly take a turn, from the traditions of the past with families divided.

Plus when you are my age, parents deceased, extended family growing smaller and smaller, it is lonely.

Again, I am thankful for my friends and am always included and welcome in their homes.

lisaloo posted 11/27/2013 22:09 PM

This will be my first Thanksgiving as an almost-single mom...I'm just grateful that I had no plans to cook. Eff this holiday, DD and I are eating out.

Saadnblu posted 11/27/2013 22:16 PM

I'm with you. This is the lowest I've felt since DDay and I also hate the happy family world out there; all those people sitting around the table little boy went with his dad today for a long weekend. His dad who seems happy in his new life, while my little boy says: I have nothing to be grateful for this year. I long for the family that I created in my mind, but really didn't in the end, feel in my heart, because he was so gone, so detached.

May we all pass through these next few weeks and move on into a better life. Sending hugs to you!

NewMom0220 posted 11/27/2013 22:33 PM

I'd like to add a big ole helpin of runny mashed potatoes to the inlaw's dinner and a side of irritable bowel syndrome to the loser ex who made it so that the his kid never got to experience being with his mom and dad on any holiday...ever. Lots of IBS for that guy.

jackie89 posted 11/27/2013 22:41 PM

I'm with you too!

My DD, is going with STBXH, to his cousins, in another state for the weekend, and my DS, is staying because he needs to work. FIRST time, I won't be with both my kids at Thanksgiving!

I just want to get through tomorrow! Then I have my 24th "anniversary" on 10th!

At least there will X-mas eve, where I'll have both kids, close family and friends over, but hardly any money for gifts!

Keep telling myself.... I will survive this, I will continue to have faith, I will find a new happy normal!!! and last year this time..I was a mess! The year before that... a huge hot mess, in false R

Just writing that, I know I've come a long way!

You will too.. we'll get there together!

Gemini71 posted 11/27/2013 23:38 PM

I hear ya. My 3 reasons to live are with their father in Iowa for the week. Sucks to be me. But if this is the price for having my kids for 80% of the rest of the year, I'll gladly pay it!

wontdefineme posted 11/28/2013 00:52 AM

Know how you feel, but look at all the things you have and not what you don't.

Be thankful you have hands to type
Be thankful for legs to walk
Be thankful for SI so you can talk to people who understand
Be thankful for the electricity that keeps us warm
Be thankful that your children will be with you again
Be thankful for Gods blessings no matter how small
Be thankful for.......

Its easier to crawl out of this hole if you count the small blessings instead of looking at what we don't have. I am not taking away from how you feel,but trying to help you realize what really matters. I would much rather be here by myself than to go through that year of hell after I found out he cheated and how he treated me.

I am thankful I am divorced.

shiloe posted 11/28/2013 06:31 AM

I concur.

It's just another day to me now.

Just want the holidays to go away.

gahurts posted 11/28/2013 06:53 AM

Sorry R&B. I know how it is. Last year we did a huge feast for Thanksgiving. This year xWW is taking the younger ones to her mother in Arkansas and the older ones have to work so I won't have any of my kids with me. But I am not alone either because I wil be making new traditions with GF and her family. And I am looking forward to next year when we have a full household again at Thanksgiving.

It's time that you can start fresh. Make new traditions. Try new things. This year try to get with some friends. Or enjoy the quiet time and be thankful for those kiddoes knowing that even though they are not with you this weekend, they love you deeply AND next year you will have the full 4 days to really enjoy the the holiday and to develop a new tradition with them.

Stay strong, in the grand scheme of things, today is but a day.

Lostandpregnant posted 11/28/2013 07:36 AM

I can't even deal with thinking about holidays yet.
I have no idea how we are supposed to make them fun and happy for our kids, while the ones who left us are off doing whatever they please with no responsibilities.
It's surreal.
Too bad we can't have our own anti-holiday, all of

curiouswiz posted 11/28/2013 08:23 AM

Yeah; I told myself yesterday while fighting tears all day long, it's only a day. I have plenty to be thankful for. I have a warm home. My doggies love me. My kids want me to be with them but that would cost money I don't have to spare much less share.

I'm missing cooking for an entire week before the holiday? The house cleaning? Making sure we have enough to feed both families? Running until I collapse at the table? I keep telling myself I should be grateful I'm not doing all of those things when I really miss the craziness. I miss my in laws. I miss my world.

So, I'm not doing as well as I promised myself I would but I keep saying I'll go for a walk. I'll go for a beer at the inn and spend a few minutes with others that have no place to go. I'll say a prayer thanking God for another day, even a day in pain and disbelief is better than no day.

This sucks. It hurts. This day will pass.

IrishLass518 posted 11/28/2013 09:16 AM

The holidays are difficult especially the first few years of separate ones. I do have to say that the longer I have been single the better they are getting. I have adjusted to the EOY holidays for IrishLad and he has too. I always make sure we have some time with his big brothers and sisters whether it's the actual day or not. I kinda like the holidays when I don't have to run around to several family/friend gatherings and I can lounge around in my PJ's. I swear it does get better.

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