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Newest Member: ConfusedPain (49878)

User Topic: feeling guilty
♀ 41076
Member # 41076
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know I shouldn't but my WH has no where to go for Thanksgiving. He tried pushing that he was going to come after work to my parents where me and the kids are going to be. I stood firm and told him he could come get kids and spend time with them but it wasn't a good idea. He decided to just see the kids another day. I wish I didn't feel guilty.

D day August 13, 2013
Me: 29
WH: 28
Together 13 years married 7 years
3 kids (5,3,10 months)

Posts: 63 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Rabecca
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's hard to turn off all of the feelings. You're used to caring for him and taking care of him. And it's hard to not do those things.

But he needs to walk the path that he has chosen. He is an adult, he chose this path, and it's up to him to choose to walk it or to choose to walk another path. You cannot save him from his choices any more than you could have prevented him from betraying you. You do not do him any favors by trying to shield him from the new realities that he has chosen.

((hugs)) enjoy your holiday and your children.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 6300 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 30396
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs to you. I would imagine it is hard not to feel guilty, especially since you have been married to him and had a life together.

However, remember that HE made this bed. Not you. He made deliberate choices and now he doesn't like the consequences. That is too bad for him. But they are still his.

Tomorrow, you have a good time with your children and the rest of your family. Expect to have some up this bubble up tomorrow. However, make a concentrated effort to just enjoy the day and not get bogged down with the A. Hold your head up high, you have done nothing wrong!

Me-52 BS
Him 59-WS
Married 32 yrs, together 35
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1930 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Topic Posts: 3

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