Topic: DDay till Divorce - How long did it take for you?
Member # 39847
| Posted: 9:20 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013|
For those who have already divorced, how long was it from DDay till your divorce was final?
BS: Me (30s)
WW: Her (30s)
10 year marriage with 2 small children.
DDay: May 2013
Posts: 55 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: RavenWood
Member # 33226
| Posted: 9:35 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013|
Roughly five months. Took 2 months to file, 90 day mandated waiting period, divorced on the 91st day.
You can call me NIK
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Posts: 28280 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 37895
| Posted: 9:35 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013|
Almost one year to the day.
I confronted December 1st 2012.
Ten months trying to reconcile, then OW3 found under a rock, and then a quick divorce by mutually agreed legal separation and dissolution. Basically I paid him off and used a lot of leverage to get him to agree eg. agreeing not to tell anyone about his activities.
Contested divorced takes a lot longer unfortunately.
Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.
Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
Member # 26071
| Posted: 9:46 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013|
We tried R first - so DD was nearly 3 years before S, D was final 8 months later.
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final
Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
Member # 27071
| Posted: 9:48 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013|
19 months. D-Day, then 7 months of TT, lies, further cheating, financial destruction... all on him. D-Day, then 7 months of listening to his BS, promises, sob fests as to how sorry he was & how much he loved me and me believing so much of his crap....that's all on me. Then a year of separation prior to the actual D hearing. Had I found SI 6 months earlier, had I realized what I was up against, it wouldn't have taken that long.
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.
Posts: 596 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Massachusetts
Member # 39193
| Posted: 10:05 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013|
April 10 was Dday. I confronted him on April 12. On April 20 he moved out and directly in with her. Never an ounce of remorse, guilt, regret or anything else resembling a true human emotion. We filed jointly, though of course I had to do all the work.... Six days later it was over.
Here on SI they say this type of ending is really a gift, vs months or years of more lies and pain. I hope someday to get to the point where I feel that way. For now, it's still a deep sharp cut that hasn't healed yet.
Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
Posts: 1216 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Member # 33698
| Posted: 10:20 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013|
Technically, about 18 months, but that's only because I needed XWH's insurance until this past fall. If we had been able to D right away, it would likely have been more like four months-- I found out Oct. 2011, and the legal separation agreement was complete by Feb. 2012. Because of the health insurance, though, the D wasn't final until June 2013.
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
Posts: 3727 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 32554
| Posted: 10:31 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013|
30 months post DDay
21 months post filing, tossing him & his shit to the curb, and having him served.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
Posts: 10467 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 33129
| Posted: 10:47 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013|
Dday was August 13, 2011
Divorce was final August 9, 2013. (My 15th wedding anniversary. )
divorced the Dooosh
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
Posts: 3633 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Member # 34697
| Posted: 10:56 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013|
And it would have been sooner if he hadn't dragged it out.
"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear
Posts: 4956 | Registered: Jan 2012
Member # 40115
| Posted: 11:32 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013|
DDay 1 7/26/13
DDay 2 8/7/13 Deal Breaker
First Court Date 12/5/13, I was hoping to have everything in line by then, but it isn't going to happen.
Edited to correct stupid typos.
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.
Posts: 2343 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Member # 28555
| Posted: 6:46 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013|
Tried to R for 3 years (way too long)
Filed and in-house separation 6/29/13
D final 9/25/13
Moved out into new house 10/7/13
"If your ideal image of yourself is in the future, it's going to stay there".
Posts: 1187 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Texas
Member # 25624
| Posted: 7:14 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013|
D Day #1- Thanksgiving 2008
Separated April 2011
Still waiting for divorce
Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.
The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed
Posts: 1764 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
Member # 41143
| Posted: 7:54 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013|
Divorce granted 4 months after DDay round 2, 31 days post filing. My goal was to not to endure another wedding anniversary (especially since XWH admitted to what I refer to as sexcations while on business trips, one of which was 10 days before our 20th anniversary
). Goal met!
Me: 40's; XBS Him: 40's; XWS/NPD/SA
D-day 1: 5/2007- A #1; 7/2007 A #1 continued-R
D-day 2: 3/2013 A #2/multi-ONSs; 4/2013 A #2 continues to present
D: 7/2013 (25 yrs together; days shy of 22nd anniversary-GOAL MET!)
Our kids: teen & tween
Posts: 168 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southern US
Member # 32847
| Posted: 9:17 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013|
I confronted in early May of 2010, endured about 15 months of false R, filed in October of 2011, divorce final in March or May (one of those "M" months, lol) of 2012. So, two years?
Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...
Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 29250
| Posted: 9:35 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013|
1 1/2 years. It was a mess. :(
“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21
Posts: 1583 | Registered: Aug 2010
Member # 22870
| Posted: 10:48 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013|
I tried to R for 2 years after the first DDay. I filed in mid June, D was final in early November, so about 5.5 months.
With a second DDay between filing and final D.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
Posts: 7986 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 36697
| Posted: 10:51 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013|
8 months for me. I spent the first four hoping she would come back. After I finally filed, a combination of paperwork errors and her dragging her feet made it last longer than it should have.
Posts: 1998 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Member # 40996
| Posted: 10:52 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013|
She was on a trip to"clear her head". 8 found out about the OM the day after she left. Filed a few days later. It's been 3 months and our pre divorce hearing is 21 January
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Posts: 526 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
Member # 5929
| Posted: 11:04 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013|
About 13 months.
Keep calm and carry on.
Posts: 49483 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
|Topic Posts: 32|