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I have seen the writing on the wall

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Survivor9582 posted 11/27/2013 22:47 PM

I gave my WH a cease contact request almost two weeks ago. We have been separated (he walked out on me and our 3 children) since September. He said he would make a decision and we would talk after Thanksgiving. So, we are going to talk on Sunday night. We are spending thanksgiving together with the kids...I feel like it will be our last holiday together. It breaks my heart because I don't want this. He was the one that cheated, but he makes me feel like I was wrong. I know it's the guilt talking when he does that, but I also know that deep down he wants to be a family again, he just doesn't know how to accept responsibility for his actions and accept my forgiveness. Any advice?

welcome14 posted 11/27/2013 23:40 PM

((hugs)) I hope that you can get the resolution that you want during your talk, but I hope that for yourself, you can do the 180 and give yourself some care. Try to detach and make this about healing yourself and drink lots of water and eat if you are able. Go to the gym, get your nails done if you wish, or cook something wonderful to tempt you to eat. Blessings to you. Be strong and healthy. You are worth so much more. We will help you through this. The best advice on how to deal with him is to become stronger for yourself. A strong spouse is always more attractive, and maybe he will see what he is losing. Perhaps if you are calm during this talk and give him space to feel safe he may be able to open up to you again.

devistatedmom posted 11/28/2013 16:13 PM

Hon, he's cake eating, in my opinion. HE will make a decision after thanksgiving?? No. When you sit down on Sunday, YOU tell him that enough is enough. You've had enough.

Although you may want to R, he has to know you aren't going to play second fiddle to another woman, and if you are married, you are married. It doesn't sound like he's done anything to fix himself, just enjoying the single life, and now he gets to come home and you all have the holiday together, with you doing all the work. Sounds like a good deal...for him.

You decide what you want, and what you require him to do to come home. Don't let him dictate to you, whichever way you decide to go.

(((hugs)))

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