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33years (original poster member #41053) posted at 8:59 PM on Thursday, November 28th, 2013
The meal is over, kids have gone, wh gone to work, his brother visiting from out of state is napping. I managed to get through it all without showing my sad emotions. It's also my wh's birthday but I never said anything. (I did put a candle on one of the desserts and the grandkids sang the birthday song.
It is so much work and no one seems to appreciate the effort. Looking ahead, I don't think I want to fix a meal for Christmas this year at all. Uggh! I wish I could just disappear for a while.
Me (BS) 59
Him (WH) 58
DD July 10, 2013
My Motto: "I'm fairly certain that nothing is certain anymore"
devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 9:02 PM on Thursday, November 28th, 2013
And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!
somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 10:58 PM on Thursday, November 28th, 2013
..I hear you.. 
.. I hope there was one person there who thanked you, told you how delicious everthing was, how beautiful everything was decorated, how they enjoyed the fun and laughter, the chance to bring family together.. to share the joy at Thanksgiving.
..if no-one even bothered to give you that little 'thank you'.. then, to hell with them..
..I wouldn't blame you one little bit for not doing the Christmas dinner... no-one should work all day cooking and cleaning and organizing and planning a big family dinner and NOT get a sincere 'THANK YOU' when they push themselves away from your table!! 
..nothing says you are being taken for granted and unappreciated as much as that!!
..my advice would be to totally go off on them..)not the little wee children, but all the adults and even the young adults (12+) that sat around your table ..and tell them off.
..that you no longer will host a dinner of any kind and not be thanked and appreciated! Period!
You deserve to be recognized and supported for your efforts.
..How much does it cost to say thank you??? nothing!!! Are they all so selfish, so thoughtless, so entitled that they don't see their ignorance and lack of common manners, enough to say thanks??
You need to tell them!
smy 
trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 11:36 PM on Thursday, November 28th, 2013
sodamnlost ( member #37190) posted at 12:32 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
Joining you in the wish to disappear. While this year was leaps and bounds better than last year - it sucks monkey nuts to feel like this on yet ANOTHER holiday. ((((Hugs to all the hurting))))
Me - BS original Dday 10-2012, separated June 2014, divorce Fall 2016
Grief, loss and pain taunt her - "you will never be the same." Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, she rises and spreads her new wings as she brushes off the ashes an
brkn_heartd ( member #30396) posted at 1:36 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
33years,
Support being sent your way. It is ok to invite someone else to host Christmas. Or to make assignments for Christmas. It is hard to maintain the state of "nothing is wrong" when your heart is breaking.
Now that you have done this...do something special for yourself. A long soak in the tub, a special glass of wine, a pedicure, massage..etc. You get the point. Can be something that costs nothing or something that does. But do something that brings YOU pleasure and relaxation.
Hugs to you.
Me-57 BS
Him 65-WS
Married 38 yrs, together 40
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 1:40 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
TheAgonyOfIt ( member #39114) posted at 4:47 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
Today is also my WS's birthday.
What a sad and miserable day.
Sorry for your sadness. It's hard to hold sometimes.
I wish I could make it go away.
Me BS 49, ExWS: narcissist! Jekyll Hyde. Left in secret early July, moved states. Left home, job, whole life behind and difficult** adjusting. Dog injured and too much to handle. Supremely bummed out.
Audrina ( member #31522) posted at 4:33 PM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
This is why I booked myself a 2 week vacation to Italy right after DDAY. I stayed with my friend and her family during the Holidays and did not have to lift a finger. It did me a world of good.
Why not take off?
I hope you are having a better day today.
[This message edited by Audrina at 10:33 AM, November 29th (Friday)]
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