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steadfast1973 (original poster member #24719) posted at 12:57 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
WS is being... More open and honest with me than ever. I feel an intimacy i've never felt with him. Today was great, we cooked together. (We've been doing more things together, and as a family, as one of my conditions to R). We had a great thanksgiving...
But his video game has a character called The Faceless Void. And since the prostitute is faceless to me (her face is edited out of her pictures on her escort website), it triggered me... i almost threw my ipad across the room... We talked about it, he answered my questions, his memory was triggered on some details, he cried. Now he's playing his game... And I am here typing on a message board about infidelity.
Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"
brkn_heartd ( member #30396) posted at 1:33 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
I am so sorry your day has ended this way.
Can you try to reclaim the evening? Have him put up the video game...and play a board game or cards together? Go for an evening walk? Recapture some of the good day? How about him not playing that game? Is than an option?
Take care of yourself and be gentle. This is part of the roller coaster. It is just so painful.
Me-57 BS
Him 65-WS
Married 38 yrs, together 40
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10
steadfast1973 (original poster member #24719) posted at 1:53 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
He changed the video game. Lol. We are about to reclaim the day
Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 2:58 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
You GO get this day back for yourselves! 
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Brandon808 ( member #35619) posted at 3:04 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
Sorry you triggered but it sounds like you handled it together and communicated well.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:11 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
We are about to reclaim the day
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
brkn_heartd ( member #30396) posted at 3:42 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
Me-57 BS
Him 65-WS
Married 38 yrs, together 40
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10
Gotmegood ( member #41407) posted at 4:07 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
Today was okay here too. WH very helpful with cooking, dishes, etc. it was a day spent doing things together....with the same goal. And now he's asleep and snoring and the movie of my WH and the prostitute begin......
Me: faithful wife 62.
Him: WH 64 , prostitute 20 yr old
DDay: 8-13-2013
Status: boinging up and down like a yo-yo
steadfast1973 (original poster member #24719) posted at 12:22 PM on Friday, November 29th, 2013
Yep, got me good, exactly like that. Someone in another thread said to make those movies in low quality black and white, and your own memories of you and WH together in high def, and just make the good movies stretch until they cover it, and that's all you can see. It works for the most part.
My h is terrified of IC. He's a feeling stuffer... I think he's terrified of FEELINGS. Which likely led us here, in the first place. The talking we are doing... Is creating real intimacy between us. Like... For the first time since we've been together. But.. It's not enough. He has to reject everything he knew about sex, and learn it all over. (Abuse survivor) I need (and he needs) more than "I hate what I have done and won't do it again." I took that at face value before. He's open to MC, so maybe that will help ease him into IC.
Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"
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