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It was a good day, but now...

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steadfast1973 posted 11/28/2013 18:57 PM

WS is being... More open and honest with me than ever. I feel an intimacy i've never felt with him. Today was great, we cooked together. (We've been doing more things together, and as a family, as one of my conditions to R). We had a great thanksgiving...

But his video game has a character called The Faceless Void. And since the prostitute is faceless to me (her face is edited out of her pictures on her escort website), it triggered me... i almost threw my ipad across the room... We talked about it, he answered my questions, his memory was triggered on some details, he cried. Now he's playing his game... And I am here typing on a message board about infidelity.

brkn_heartd posted 11/28/2013 19:33 PM

I am so sorry your day has ended this way.

Can you try to reclaim the evening? Have him put up the video game...and play a board game or cards together? Go for an evening walk? Recapture some of the good day? How about him not playing that game? Is than an option?

Take care of yourself and be gentle. This is part of the roller coaster. It is just so painful.

steadfast1973 posted 11/28/2013 19:53 PM

He changed the video game. Lol. We are about to reclaim the day

Skan posted 11/28/2013 20:58 PM

You GO get this day back for yourselves!

Brandon808 posted 11/28/2013 21:04 PM

Sorry you triggered but it sounds like you handled it together and communicated well.

nowiknow23 posted 11/28/2013 21:11 PM

We are about to reclaim the day

brkn_heartd posted 11/28/2013 21:42 PM

Glad to hear it!!

Gotmegood posted 11/28/2013 22:07 PM

Today was okay here too. WH very helpful with cooking, dishes, etc. it was a day spent doing things together....with the same goal. And now he's asleep and snoring and the movie of my WH and the prostitute begin......

steadfast1973 posted 11/29/2013 06:22 AM

Yep, got me good, exactly like that. Someone in another thread said to make those movies in low quality black and white, and your own memories of you and WH together in high def, and just make the good movies stretch until they cover it, and that's all you can see. It works for the most part.

My h is terrified of IC. He's a feeling stuffer... I think he's terrified of FEELINGS. Which likely led us here, in the first place. The talking we are doing... Is creating real intimacy between us. Like... For the first time since we've been together. But.. It's not enough. He has to reject everything he knew about sex, and learn it all over. (Abuse survivor) I need (and he needs) more than "I hate what I have done and won't do it again." I took that at face value before. He's open to MC, so maybe that will help ease him into IC.

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