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trebleclef posted 11/29/2013 18:29 PM

I haven't posted in a long while. Spending a lot of time with friends and family and life and on OLD. (That has been an amusing and horrifying journey at times!)

Just have to share that sometimes life DOES give us roses instead of thorns. To my amazement, I connected with a guy on CM with whom things have simply rocketed. It's right - for both of us. My head is spinning. We made our relationship official last night, and will soon be engaged. He is the man of my dreams and so much more; both of us are sure we are God's plan for each other.

So - my thoughts today are:

THANKYOU Mr. XWH for making it possible for me to leave you in my past and live the rest of my life with someone who actually cherishes me.

There is hope. You never know what might be just around the corner. One month ago I was alone. Now I have the rest of my life to share with someone I love.

Life indeed goes on, one way or the other. The pain from infidelity may not ever disappear, but does, ever so slowly, but surely, fade with time.

Thankyou SI peeps for keeping me afloat in the tsunami and the years of aftershocks.

Chin up!

movingforward13 posted 11/29/2013 19:51 PM

I am very happy for you that you met someone, as that is a great feat.
But a month ago, to talks of engagement? Please slow down. Take your time. Protect your heart. One month isn't enough to truly know someone, especially to consider them long term. This is the infatuation phase and you need to handle it carefully for it to evolve.

[This message edited by movingforward13 at 7:52 PM, November 29th (Friday)]

exhausted lady posted 11/30/2013 01:23 AM

My head is spinning. We made our relationship official last night, and will soon be engaged.

PLEASE don't sign on the dotted line until WAY after your head quits spinning!!!

I don't want to come across as Debby Downer here, but getting engaged a month after meeting a guy via OLD is a very scary thought to me.


Give it a year, minimum. You won't regret it, and if he's one of those NPD guys that love bomb you, he won't be able to keep up the charade that long. Please, please take your time and slow down!!! If he is the real deal....he will still be there, and still be the same guy. Value yourself enough to wait and see what happens.

I'm saying all this because it sounds soooo damned familiar to me. This is exactly how I felt for the first few months after I started dating NPD XWSO. It took about 18 months before his true colors really started showing. By then, we were living together, but I had told him I'd never marry again (thank God). Oh, there were a times he slipped and showed me who he was, but I was so smitten I overlooked those very important red flags when they popped up. Keep your eyes wide open. My X pushed like hell to move in with me and I finally caved in. Stupid, stupid me.

Never let someone rush, or push, you into something you're not ready for!

wildbananas posted 11/30/2013 10:25 AM

Hi treble! I remember you.

I'm afraid I have to join the chorus. This seems awfully fast. It could be the real thing and the good news there is if it is, it can withstand putting on the brakes a bit.

Like el's experience, XSO was full steam ahead. He said he loved me on the first date. He proposed on the third. Thank goodness I said no but he continued to ask me upward of 20 times a day for the next few years. I so wish I was making that up but thank God I never said yes, even when we lived together (which I was also pressured into). He was an abusive asshole to me and the bunch. It took a few years to fully uncover and see, even though the red flags were there from the start.

Just be careful with your heart and go slow. If he's the real deal, he'll understand and wait until you both know each other well. And he'll appreciate your caution.

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