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Newest Member: WarriorPrincess (51806)

User Topic: the pay pal/transparancy argument
♀ 12802
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, November 29th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yup. this is why communication is so important, even when you have transparency.

Me: fretting over Christmas and money and lists and BLERGHHH!!! (I'm the worrier)

Mr Unfound: what's up baby?

Me: (spewing words, not forming sentences ) Look how much...How will we?...Ninety five...Stocking stuffers... *sob*

Mr Unfound: (he's the even keel, cool cucumber one) *takes list* oh, I'll take care of xyz, lmnop, annnnnnd, yeah, qrs.

Me: HOW?

Mr Unfound: out of the paypal account.

Me: HUH?

Mr Unfound: The PAYPAL account.

Me: Since when do we have money in the pay pal account?

Mr Unfound: since .... well for months now (explains the things he's sold)

Me: Oh. I had no idea.

Mr Unfound: You have the login and password.

Me: I know that, but you need to tell me these things!

Mr Unfound: But you have the password, I thought you checked it.

Me: Nope. Haven't in years. Actually forgot we had one.

Mr Unfound: So you don't check it?

Me: *glares at him*

Mr Unfound: So, you don't check. Why??

Me: Cause I trust you, you big fart head.

Mr Unfound: So why are you mad?

Me: Cause you didn't tell me.

Mr Unfound: But you can check anytime you want.


Mr Unfound: Well that would have been nice to know!

Me: So I should start checking?

Mr Unfound: Well, if you want to know how much we have in our paypal account, there it is, CHECK!

Me: I don't WANT to check damnit!

Mr Unfound: Sooooo, you're mad because you trust me and don't check those things anymore? Gheesh, it was easier when you did!

Me: Huh? You WANT me to check on you?

Mr Unfound: YES! I thought you always did. At least you'd not be freaking out about this!



Mr Unfound: I can't believe you're mad because I want you to check on me, and I'm mad because you're NOT checking on me.

Me: we're pretty screwed up, aren't we

Mr Unfound: *smiling* yes, yes we are.

Transparency, somehow we're doing it right, but doing it wrong .

We both got a good laugh out of it, him more than me

you are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequence of your choice. *a universal paradox

Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
♀ 39000
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, November 29th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this is why communication is so important, even when you have transparency.


Loved your post

fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
Former motto: "Fake it till ya make it." Now: "You can't win if you don't play."

Posts: 1523 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: The First Coast
♀ 27176
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 2:44 AM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is great!

BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one

Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:56 AM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it!!!

Do not just slay your demons, dissect them and find what they've been feeding on.

Posts: 47616 | Registered: Sep 2007
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh god, are you two us in a parallel universe?

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 6604 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I so get this.

Pas de personne ont le temps pour que. -Doux Marron

Posts: 26364 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm ... gender issue, I bet. Just sayin'....

ETA: I fear I'm minimizing this issue. I apologize. I know I'm working to communicate better, but it's a tough one, at least for me.

[This message edited by sisoon at 9:34 PM, December 1st (Sunday)]

fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW - 70 (22 in my head), Married 45+, together since 1965, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and pretty much R'ed
I'm not an exemplar. I share my own experience because it's all I know.

Posts: 12895 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
♀ 24719
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 6:10 AM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So... Once I checked WH phone while he was in the shower and there was an unfamiliar 1-800 number. I dialed it on the home phone, and it was a sex line! So i ran upstairs, ripped open the shower curtain and started yelling! He was calm... He said, "Steadfast, dial the number from my phone." That was the day that I learned that SAFE AUTO is only one number different than a sex line.

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 6:10 AM, December 1st (Sunday)]

Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2290 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 8

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