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Newest Member: Lostjxb (61492)

User Topic: the pay pal/transparancy argument
♀ 12802
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, November 29th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yup. this is why communication is so important, even when you have transparency.

Me: fretting over Christmas and money and lists and BLERGHHH!!! (I'm the worrier)

Mr Unfound: what's up baby?

Me: (spewing words, not forming sentences ) Look how much...How will we?...Ninety five...Stocking stuffers... *sob*

Mr Unfound: (he's the even keel, cool cucumber one) *takes list* oh, I'll take care of xyz, lmnop, annnnnnd, yeah, qrs.

Me: HOW?

Mr Unfound: out of the paypal account.

Me: HUH?

Mr Unfound: The PAYPAL account.

Me: Since when do we have money in the pay pal account?

Mr Unfound: since .... well for months now (explains the things he's sold)

Me: Oh. I had no idea.

Mr Unfound: You have the login and password.

Me: I know that, but you need to tell me these things!

Mr Unfound: But you have the password, I thought you checked it.

Me: Nope. Haven't in years. Actually forgot we had one.

Mr Unfound: So you don't check it?

Me: *glares at him*

Mr Unfound: So, you don't check. Why??

Me: Cause I trust you, you big fart head.

Mr Unfound: So why are you mad?

Me: Cause you didn't tell me.

Mr Unfound: But you can check anytime you want.


Mr Unfound: Well that would have been nice to know!

Me: So I should start checking?

Mr Unfound: Well, if you want to know how much we have in our paypal account, there it is, CHECK!

Me: I don't WANT to check damnit!

Mr Unfound: Sooooo, you're mad because you trust me and don't check those things anymore? Gheesh, it was easier when you did!

Me: Huh? You WANT me to check on you?

Mr Unfound: YES! I thought you always did. At least you'd not be freaking out about this!



Mr Unfound: I can't believe you're mad because I want you to check on me, and I'm mad because you're NOT checking on me.

Me: we're pretty screwed up, aren't we

Mr Unfound: *smiling* yes, yes we are.

Transparency, somehow we're doing it right, but doing it wrong .

We both got a good laugh out of it, him more than me

Kids on the playground can be so cruel. “Get off the swings you’re like 50, and stop talking about Soundgarden, we don't even know what that is."

Posts: 14938 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
♀ 39000
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, November 29th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this is why communication is so important, even when you have transparency.


Loved your post

fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
Former motto: "Fake it till ya make it." Now: "You can't win if you don't play."

Posts: 1523 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: The First Coast
♀ 27176
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 2:44 AM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is great!

oops I accidentally erased my old signature and I'm sorry for all of my edits, it seems I need glasses.

Posts: 2411 | Registered: Jan 2010
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:56 AM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it!!!

"If you want to know who your tribe is, speak your truth, then see who sticks around. Those are the people who get a spot in your blanket fort." -Nanea Hoffman

Posts: 55120 | Registered: Sep 2007
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh god, are you two us in a parallel universe?

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10056 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I so get this.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

Posts: 29076 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm ... gender issue, I bet. Just sayin'....

ETA: I fear I'm minimizing this issue. I apologize. I know I'm working to communicate better, but it's a tough one, at least for me.

[This message edited by sisoon at 9:34 PM, December 1st (Sunday)]

fBH (me) - 66 on d-day, Married 43, together 45 on d-day, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
Most of us know only our own experience. That's not enough data to support a general rule that D, or R, is right in every sitch.

Posts: 16799 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois
♀ 24719
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 6:10 AM, December 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So... Once I checked WH phone while he was in the shower and there was an unfamiliar 1-800 number. I dialed it on the home phone, and it was a sex line! So i ran upstairs, ripped open the shower curtain and started yelling! He was calm... He said, "Steadfast, dial the number from my phone." That was the day that I learned that SAFE AUTO is only one number different than a sex line.

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 6:10 AM, December 1st (Sunday)]

Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"

Posts: 2303 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Kentucky
Topic Posts: 8

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