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WalkinOnEggshelz (original poster member #29447) posted at 12:12 PM on Saturday, November 30th, 2013
The story of our lives. This Christmas will be the 21st Christmas I have spent with my husband. Half of all my Christmas's have been spent with HT. I used to think that I was a sentimental person. We would buy an ornament each year that was dated. I have ornaments dating back to 1993, which was the first year we lived together and started our own traditions. Pulling them out each year and putting them in order was fun, but I realizing now that I never appreciated the significance of so many beautiful ornaments. Not just the dated ones.
I would say that about 90% of my ornaments have been bought by someone other than myself. The majority of them were carefully and thoughtfully picked out and purchased for me. They have some sort of special meaning to them. And the majority of them were given to me by either my husband or his family.
They are all beautiful and I love them very much. The past three Christmas's have been difficult pulling them out. Triggering HT and me just mostly feeling like crap and not knowing what to say. Still holding onto shame, especially when the dreaded 2009 ornament would be pulled out. Last year we decided to throw it out. It was a good decision and I even commented to HT before pulling out the ornaments this year that I was glad that we didn't have it this year.
We have grown a lot this past year and we are excited about Christmas. But as I was pulling out and carefully unwrapping each ornament, I realized just where each of them had come from. It makes me think of what I could have lost. It makes me so appreciative of what I still have. And I cherish it today more than I ever have. I am grateful that I can take a step back from our crazy life and look at the beauty of it. I love my husband and the crazy family that comes with him. I was certifiably nuts to think that trading them was anything but a bad decision.
Every ornament from 2010 on will have special meaning to me. They will represent that second chance I was given. They will represent the family I love and want to hold onto with all of my heart. They represent a continuance of a beautiful tradition I so carelessly attempted to throw by the wayside. I am grateful for each ornament that is dated past 2010. And I am grateful for my family.
Happy Holidays SI family. For I am grateful for all of you as well!
If you keep asking people to give you the benefit of the doubt, they will eventually start to doubt your benefit.
BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 2:26 PM on Saturday, November 30th, 2013
Happy Holidays to you and HT too! 
sodamnlost ( member #37190) posted at 2:31 PM on Saturday, November 30th, 2013
Just wanted to say what a gift this must be to your BH. I can't even imagine a life with my WH having such a grateful heart - I will admit to being jealous. Good on you for the hard work and being real enough to get here.
Me - BS original Dday 10-2012, separated June 2014, divorce Fall 2016
Grief, loss and pain taunt her - "you will never be the same." Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, she rises and spreads her new wings as she brushes off the ashes an
Raven96 ( member #40298) posted at 2:42 PM on Saturday, November 30th, 2013
Thank you for this post. Having a bad day, and I have no desire to put up a tree this year but have to for my 3-yo. I will look at it from your point of view. Love this!
Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?
AML04 ( member #39682) posted at 3:09 PM on Saturday, November 30th, 2013
Your post made me cry, in a good way. I told WH about it and it brought tears to his eyes too.
Wishing you the happiest of holidays this year! Maybe you can get him a really special ornament of his own this year 
Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R
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