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Newest Member: NEfEm (46010)

User Topic: WH and his "phase out" plans
Spelljean
♀ 35624
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bit of a vent.
I remember last Christmas, WH talking to me about his plan to slowly "phase out" OW by contacting her less and less, slowly disappearing from her life. He tried it several times in different ways but she refused to let go. And he refused to have the balls to just end it.

Anyway, his telling me that was not a shocker, it goes along with his conflict-avoidant nature. And,...it also gave me insight into what he is doing with me and DD now!

Shot himself in the foot by admitting his thought processes like that.

He is starting to contact us less and less (which is great for me but not for DD). I can almost predict his schedule of contact. "Start by three times a day....wean off to twice a day....then once a day but later in the afternoon....then every other day...then twice a week...."

Its actually comical. Thing is though, he should be talking to DD daily. I'm about to bring that up. What a self-centered jerk. He can ignore me all he wants, better for me. How he can go that long without a word to DD is horrible. Not even a "happy Thanksgiving" to her.

As part of his slow "phase out" campaign, he feels we should just verbally and quietly agree on the divorce stips and financials...quiet and sweet and then fade away into the mist....just the same attitude he had during the marriage. No fights, no confrontation, don't carve my wimpy nature in stone...just be happy with crumbs.

People here were right when they said you will get the same attitude in the D that you did get in the M.

Well I am telling him NO. We are documenting every single asset in Black and White. Bold print. If we are divorcing, lets have a Real fun one! Yep, your race car (technically our race car) is going down in writing!! Value...$15,000. Your shiny new truck your parents bought US. $32,000. The list goes on.

I will not fade away. He will remember this.

He can go phase out himself. Big wimp of a man.


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
Lostandpregnant
♀ 41433
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a coward.
What's he going to do when his lovely little plans fall apart in his face?


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Spelljean
♀ 35624
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Attempt a phase-in?? Haha.


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
PurpleRose
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phase-out?

I suggest that you just go all-out. LOL. Why bother to do it in phases? Gah they are truly ridiculous!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3631 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
careerlady
♀ 16958
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a terrible thing to do to your child! How old is DD? how is she taking it?


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 943 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
Spelljean
♀ 35624
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, November 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fortunately DD is older, 18.

She gets the majority of what's going on, feels WH is acting oddly, but she has a great attitude. And a sense of humor about his bizarre behavior lately. The poofing, the inconsistencies, the whole drama of it all.

I don't have a sense of humor about him yet!


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
Topic Posts: 6

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