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Well he's been nice all month... I might get a default???

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careerlady posted 11/30/2013 15:27 PM

Well some of you may remember my WH was mean and downright scary on the day I had him served almost a month ago. And since then he'd been trying to play happy family despite us sleeping in different rooms and I've gone along with it. So it's been pretty peaceful. I took DS down to my family's for thanksgiving with his permission (although he texted and called all the time about small stuff and to say he was lonely).

Anyway while I'm out of town he calls me and asks where the divorce papers are. He'd left them out on the bathroom counter and I had a cleaning service coming so I put them in the drawer. He starts talking about how it's so much trouble to do the paperwork and asks me what happens if he doesn't respond - does he go to jail or do they accounts get frozen or what? This may seem strange but this man has me do everything for him - his graduate school admissions essay, his job applications, the bills, the taxes... He surely realizes the divorce is me SUING him, I'm not going to help him with THAT. So I just say I don't know but I'd doubt you'd go to jail.

I get back from out of town and the papers are looking untouched in the drawer. Because he's the master of procrastination I started working on default papers a few days ago just in case. Now it looks like I may be able to use them cause Monday is the 30th day! Hoping to see a lawyer to look over my papers on Tuesday. I basically asked for no alimony to him, everybody keeps their own stuff, and I get permission to take DS back to SoCal if I want to. WH was PISSED. Now he says "if you want to take DS to SoCal I'm not interested to fight you". I'm amazed that he'd say it's too much trouble to fight for DS while on the other hand playing doting dad and doing way more stuff with us recently and acting like he really wants to be a family! I keep getting happy and then I realize it's all a mirage and we aren't a real family.

The cold calculating bitch in me is like "hehe, my plan worked and I'm gonna win!" But there's still a sad little girl who just wishes this month could have been real and I could have my family back. Now I don't need a 4x4, I'm not crazy. He hasn't even APOLOGIZED so nothing's changed.

Anyway I guess that was a sad/excited rant. Anyone been in a position to get a default judgement and/or know how well they stick?

Nature_Girl posted 11/30/2013 16:02 PM

I was in a position to get a default, but my first, incompetent lawyer lied to me & let the case slide. I would have gone default if she hadn't lied to me.

I have learned that lawyers are loathe to do a default divorce to each other. If you have a lawyer, you be sure to push default & make it happen. Don't be put off. Oh Lord, if only I'd known the truth back then I could have avoided this nightmare!

Don't tip your hand to him.

welcome14 posted 11/30/2013 18:18 PM

Prayers to you and hugs! I will be sending you mojo for that default! Keep strong, you are doing brilliantly- kudos to you for keeping it civil. That takes a lot of perseverance!

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