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sunsetslost posted 11/30/2013 16:20 PM

Beginning week three in my crappy hotel room. Things are getting easier. I'm getting better at staying busy here. There are a number of bars and restaurants within walking distance so I don't have to drive in holiday shopping traffic.

I went to go get a check from STBX. It was really really cold that morning. She was miserable. I parked far away from her office building and moved and spoke very very slowly. I have to admit I enjoyed watching her squirm a bit in the cold. She owes me some more money but I'll get it. If she bullshits me I'll drop the hammer.

I've been able to think long term a little more now that I'm out from under the house. I need to save some more money here before I can quit my job and head to the beach. It's been nice to rest and relax a bit. I'm trying to transfer my job but I work for an evil corporation.

I'm not entirely sure when the family condo will be ready but I'm proving to myself that I'm comfortable in a small room/apartment. Whenever I'm ready.

I'm surviving, existing. I still find myself sulking with the shades pulled sometimes but I'm making an effort to reach out more and more.

Hope everybody had a good turkey day

welcome14 posted 11/30/2013 18:16 PM

I'm sorry to hear you are still in the hotel, hope the condo gets done soon. I think you are sounding much better with each post, and a little gloom here and there is completely normal. ((hugs)) and I hope you had a good (or as good as the first one gets) Tday also. Blessings to you!

PhoenixRising88 posted 11/30/2013 18:24 PM

Sending you smiles. (((sunsetslost))).

DefeatedDad posted 12/1/2013 04:07 AM

Sunset you have become a real hero to me. Reading your threads has inspired me. I know that if my R does go south, I can make it and I am strong enough.

I'm sorry your hotel stay has been rough. Those long-term hotels can be lonely.

What did you do for Thanksgiving?

Lostandpregnant posted 12/1/2013 06:41 AM

((Hugs))

sunsetslost posted 12/1/2013 09:03 AM

Thanks guys.

DD: my parents are about an hour from where I am staying. I drove over, watched some football and hung out with family. Then I came back here and drank a bottle and a half of wine, fell asleep at 9:30. I read how yours was

NewMom0220 posted 12/1/2013 09:30 AM

Sunsetslost,

I love the irony of your username. It seems more like you are gaining sunsets if you have a condo on the beach waiting for you.

I'm in my own version of a crappy hotel room...my parents' house (which is beautiful and not crappy, but I'm living in a room like a teenager). I don't have my new place picked out yet, but I want to be in my own place by February. This transition has been really difficult because I'm pretty independent and haven't even lived near my family in 13 years.

I feel like a refugee or a nomad. I keep a lot of things in my car. It's been nice not having daily contact with my STBX, but sometimes his absence stands out to me during various times. He's still a POS loser but when you start moving on there's a learning curve and my memory of how things were seeps in here and there. Anyway, I know it's hard...but you are doing great. Be thankful you don't have children with her. I read your bio and we had trouble conceiving as well. It took a toll on the relationship, but I foolishly thought we were in it for better or worse. Be grateful she's not dragging a young child through this BS with you.

(((Sunsetslost)))

sunsetslost posted 12/1/2013 10:38 AM

NewMom,

I'm grateful every day. Relatively speaking I'm
Much better off than many on here and I know that.

The name comes from our past. We were married on the beach at sun set. It was the most amazing one I've ever seen. It was post card perfect. We would vacation at least twice a year and were (at least I was ) chasing that moment again. Saw some that were close.

I went to FL a few weeks after d day and I took half of the sand we had gathered from the exact wedding spot. As the sun sank into the water I dumped the sand into the Gulf. It was my last "lost" sunset. And at the same time my first "found" one. The peace and beauty of sunsets were mine. Score we got together. I shared them with her. I'm taking them back.

FaithFool posted 12/1/2013 11:06 AM

You have a great attitude, and your progress in such a short space of time is truly inspiring.

IrishLass518 posted 12/1/2013 11:08 AM

Sunsets, you're doing incredibly well and I love that you took your sunset spot back. I love the symbolism of putting the sand back and reclaiming that part of you. That is a huge step forward in your journey.