But don't mistake this for anything resembling "normal." It's not, and it WON'T be what your life is, long-term.
Whether you R or D, you will forge a new happiness, a new real "normal."
What you're going through now will pass. I know it seems impossible. I know that time is a four-letter word. But it's true.
You will not only survive, but thrive.
For now, be gentle with yourself. Eat frequent, tiny "meals" (it sounds like your body responds the way mine did), drink plenty of fluid. Exercise each day. Rest when you can. Breathe deeply.
It gets better. It sucks that it should have to, but it does.
I understand wanting to sleep until this is all over and wake up with things better somehow. I think I've tried that off and on, but it never works. As hard as it is, the only way it gets better is as we do the work through it. I'm not ashamed to admit some nights I've taken an ativan to stop the pain and anxiety so I can sleep because I'm overwhelmed and can't take any more for the day. I think we all find our ways to cope. And this whole community is here and will be here for you as you learn this.
What I encourage most (when I remember to say it) is being gentle with yourself and not being upset with yourself for your reactions, whatever they may be. They're all part of the process. We will all get through this.
I do wonder though, if having you and the kids right next door to him is making this waaaay to comfortable for him. He gets to have you send the kids over to his parents so he can play happy family, while you sit alone next door. Then he sends them back to you, so he can go on with this new fantasy he's created. He's cake eating.
I really really don't think this is good for you.
I wish there was a way for him to experience the reality of his choice that isn't at your expense. Do you have any friends you could go "visit" for a while (with the kids)?