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Reconciliation :
should I be looking???

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 Kimba22 (original poster new member #40476) posted at 9:52 PM on Sunday, December 1st, 2013

I haven't posted in a while, our R has been going wonderful. We both have been working so hard and are so in tuned to each other. Here is the problem...occasionaly I find myself checking her facebook page. I know I shouldn't but I do and I really don't know why. They are not friends on Facebook or any media, there has been no contact since May/June when I found out...

I should not be looking right??? How do I break myself from it??

Any advice would be great!

ME: 46
H: 49
A from 3/9/13 to 5/13/13
DD: 5/6/2013
Married: 11 years
Blended family w/5 Children

posts: 16   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2013
id 6580705
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Raven96 ( member #40298) posted at 12:20 AM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013

Yes, you should be looking. You are not very far out from D-Day. It has nothing to do with R at all. So many people think they are R, and then find out that the A went further underground. Some people think they are in R and find out through constant check-ups that their WS has ended all contact and they are truly in R. It takes 2-5 years to get through this, and you're not very far out.

You keep checking everything until YOU feel you no longer need to. That's my two cents.

Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

posts: 379   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6580840
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Lola7 ( member #41195) posted at 12:37 AM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013

I think you should to. In my case, there's no R, so I've removed all his family, friends, and blocked those I don't want to know about. What I don't know can't hurt me.

caelitus mihi vires
"My strength is from heaven"
DIVORCED!

posts: 211   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2013
id 6580849
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bionicgal ( member #39803) posted at 1:46 AM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013

You are looking at the OW's page?

I struggle with this. Sometimes the looky-loo in me wants to see what she has put on public view, but other times, nah. The only reason I would think she'd put things on public view is for me to look at them (she didn't prior to dday - I checked.)

This woman is so bent she posted obliquely about the affair *while it was going on,* and I was probably her most active "friend" on FB. . .so, not someone with all her oars in the water.

me - BS (45) - DDay - June 2013
A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward." -- C.S. Lewis.

posts: 3521   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6580917
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