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rachelc posted 12/1/2013 17:50 PM

How do you love someone if you don't really know them? I want to tell my story but dont want to t/j the wonderful responses that OP is receiving.

You see, I DID know him. 2 years into our marriage he cheated on a test in one of his MBA classes. He was accused of academic dishonesty, had to go before a board to plead his case and he won! He had to retake the class and guess who suffered for him being gone two nights a week instead of one?! The thing is, he told me he didn't cheat but I knew he did and I just kind of threw. up my hands and said, "oh mrrachelc" 20 years later he admitted to it.

Seven years ago he left one firm to be the president of another firm. He stole proprietary information from firm one. A cleaning lady saw him take the stuff and it was her word against his. Guess who won... When I challenged him on this he says. "But everybody does it. They just chose to make an example out of me."

My point, why on earth was I so surprised he cheated? I shouldn't be. I DO know him and love him. But I can no longer be "in love" with him. Too many lies, excuses.,.. He's trying like crazy now. If he loads the dishwasher enough and puts the Christmas tree up without complaining this is a good marriage for him. He's pulling his weight. Hell, he's out getting me presents right now....

You get my drift...,

[This message edited by rachelc at 5:58 PM, December 1st (Sunday)]

AFrayedKnot posted 12/1/2013 19:54 PM

I knew my fWS too. I watched so many selfish self destructive incidents over the years. I suffered through each one covering her ass and picking up the slack to keep our family going and safe.

So..

why on earth was I so surprised (s)he cheated?

Because my ego was so big that I never thought she would risk losing the only thing keeping her life stable. I never thought she would hurt me in such a personal way.

Godsgirl posted 12/1/2013 22:03 PM

Rachelc, I so get your drift!!!!!!

I was more surprised by how well he hid his A's than the fact that he cheated. And the false R really did a number on me.