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I got upset with my daughter because she asked OW to play a game with her..ugh..i blew up! im so mad at myself! This came from my ex ass who im sure loved telling me...This all just sucks...

You reacted. It's hard to be in control of your emotions all the time. Tell your child that you were wrong, have a hug, and move forward.
Don't be too hard on yourself, you're human.

((((ideservebetter45))))

This is just the hardest thing I have ever dealt with...I dont know how to be "OK" with it no matter how hard I try...

You don't ever have to be ok with it. You just have to learn how to live with it :(

You don't ever have to be ok with it. You just have to learn how to live with it :(

^^THIS. I loathe it too. The only thing worse is one of his whores being unkind to my girls.

And stop talking to him - I stopped once I realised it had become an act of self-harm.

Lostandpregnant has it right. Even at the age of your daughter, kids realize they're parents aren't perfect. You need to realize it too.

Tell her that you're very upset because of your split-up with Daddy. Tell her you're sometimes having trouble controlling your emotions as a result. Then lots of hugs.

Sometimes our kids really appreciate being talked to like they're adults.

And you're right: This all just sucks.

Admit to your kiddo that you were upset and should not have acted like that.
I do this with Teslet, usually I say something along the lines of, "mom was really frustrated and yelled because she was frustrated. I need to take a deep breath before I talk when I get frustrated. I'm really sorry, do you think you can forgive me?"

I totally get how you must hate that your kiddo is doing stuff with the OW and having fun. Think of her as a glorified babysitter that is trying to get your kid to like her. When Teslet talks about the neat thing he did with stripper whore, I try to channel my mommy somewhere else and listen to him as if he was one of my students. It's very tough but remember, you want your kiddo to never feel like she can't talk to you.

You didn't blow it. You gave your daughter an opportunity to see an adult as a fallible, remorseful human being. That can be a very good thing. ((((((ideservebetter))))))

Thank you so much for the replies. You guys rock..I don't know what i would do without this forum. None of my friends have been through this. ..so although they try to help, they don't really understand.