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Newest Member: HeartbrokenQueen

Divorce/Separation :
i blew it!

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 ideservebetter45 (original poster member #36951) posted at 3:54 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013

I got upset with my daughter because she asked OW to play a game with her..ugh..i blew up! im so mad at myself! This came from my ex ass who im sure loved telling me...This all just sucks...

posts: 250   ·   registered: Sep. 26th, 2012   ·   location: ideservebetter45
id 6581352
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Lostandpregnant ( member #41433) posted at 4:50 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013

You reacted. It's hard to be in control of your emotions all the time. Tell your child that you were wrong, have a hug, and move forward.

Don't be too hard on yourself, you're human.

He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

posts: 354   ·   registered: Nov. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6581440
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:16 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013

((((ideservebetter45))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6581473
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 ideservebetter45 (original poster member #36951) posted at 5:23 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013

This is just the hardest thing I have ever dealt with...I dont know how to be "OK" with it no matter how hard I try...

posts: 250   ·   registered: Sep. 26th, 2012   ·   location: ideservebetter45
id 6581483
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Lostandpregnant ( member #41433) posted at 6:15 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013

You don't ever have to be ok with it. You just have to learn how to live with it :(

He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

posts: 354   ·   registered: Nov. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6581546
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 8:35 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013

You don't ever have to be ok with it. You just have to learn how to live with it :(

^^THIS. I loathe it too. The only thing worse is one of his whores being unkind to my girls.

And stop talking to him - I stopped once I realised it had become an act of self-harm.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6581701
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Pass ( member #38122) posted at 9:45 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013

Lostandpregnant has it right. Even at the age of your daughter, kids realize they're parents aren't perfect. You need to realize it too.

Tell her that you're very upset because of your split-up with Daddy. Tell her you're sometimes having trouble controlling your emotions as a result. Then lots of hugs.

Sometimes our kids really appreciate being talked to like they're adults.

And you're right: This all just sucks.

Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.

posts: 3785   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6581760
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 3:10 AM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013

Admit to your kiddo that you were upset and should not have acted like that.

I do this with Teslet, usually I say something along the lines of, "mom was really frustrated and yelled because she was frustrated. I need to take a deep breath before I talk when I get frustrated. I'm really sorry, do you think you can forgive me?"

I totally get how you must hate that your kiddo is doing stuff with the OW and having fun. Think of her as a glorified babysitter that is trying to get your kid to like her. When Teslet talks about the neat thing he did with stripper whore, I try to channel my mommy somewhere else and listen to him as if he was one of my students. It's very tough but remember, you want your kiddo to never feel like she can't talk to you.

You didn't blow it. You gave your daughter an opportunity to see an adult as a fallible, remorseful human being. That can be a very good thing. ((((((ideservebetter))))))

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6582116
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 ideservebetter45 (original poster member #36951) posted at 3:48 AM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013

Thank you so much for the replies. You guys rock..I don't know what i would do without this forum. None of my friends have been through this. ..so although they try to help, they don't really understand.

posts: 250   ·   registered: Sep. 26th, 2012   ·   location: ideservebetter45
id 6582152
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