There will be direct and significant consequences for this.
Obviously she's being rebellious and is likely to continue this behavior. She'll probably see punishment as proof that her parents are evil and trying to ruin her life.
Does anyone have any creative advice to turning around a rebellious teen?
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
If it were my kid they would be in lock down until further notice, no door to their room, no phone, dropped off and checked into school, picked up and checked out of school, and absolutely zero contact with anyone through electronic means, computer, phone, tablet etc. If she wants to talk to a friend, fine I call her, and then put her on the phone. Like it or lump it kid, I'm doing this so you don't end up in a ditch or carved to bits in some weirdos basement.
I have a a 14 year old and she hates me and her dad both right now, but you know what, she respects us, because we demand it, and do not allow any nonesense. In a few years she will realize what we do for her, and appreciate what we have done for her.
She's lost all privileges.
However, I'm looking for something else. Yes we're punishing but is there a positive approach we could add? Carrot and stick thinking.
She has a volatile relationship with her mother (my SO's XWW). The IC said last week that she was concerned for her living with her mom and recommended that my SO pursue custody. We have an appointment with a lawyer about that today *sigh*. She has a history of cutting. We take her to IC but can only do it EOW.
Obviously she's rebelling. Obviously she's seeking attention. She reallty had no idea how big this would get. SO called the cops. The deputy that met with us last night will be stopping by the next time we have her. He was awesome. I'm struggling to avoid ONLY negative dynamic in the relationship with this girl.
Give her more responsibility, more autonomy, something that will help her to become more socially aware. Maybe volunteer or get her to help you with an important project. Let her know you trust her to be good and show her that even adults have to be honest and rely on each other. Good luck!
One of the big things that kept me somewhat above water was I had responsibilities. My parents gave me a choice- I could work or do a 5-day a week school activity. So during the summers I worked and during the school year I was a cheerleader on two squads so it actually turned into a 7-days a week activity because I loved it so much. I learned real quick cheerleading with a hang over was seriously not fun.
Maybe encourage her to find something she loves and dive full in! In as many ways as you can, treat her like the adult she wants to be.
Me- BW, 30
Him- fWh, 36
Mostly R'd, minus a few scars...bought a house and got a puppy...And baby makes 3! She arrived August 2013