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Newest Member: Nathan (61870)

User Topic: After a Year, We've seperated
♀ 38924
Member # 38924
Helpless  Posted: 11:42 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A year ago, I found out about OW #1 of about 9 that I know of. It took about 6 months to find out MOST of what I already knew, by confronting him. I still figured more out just yesterday. Another Dday. Just yesterday, a year after Dday #1. Never once, did he come to me feeling bad enough to confess. I told him I could forgive one time, or heck, even one girl, but 9OW in a 3 year time span while I was working and having his babies.

Does the pain of being alone get better?? I have two very small children. It's very difficult to take care of them, work, and support them on my own. I can do it, no doubt, but it's only been about a week and a half.

Any advice for this seperated newbie??

Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.

Posts: 972 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Please make him be responsible for his kids and set up a visitiation schedule now. It is unfair, and unhealthy for you to bear the parent burden alone continuously.

I never seperated but when the A was in full swing I was alone a lot more than not, and when he was there he was such an ass I didn't want to leave my kids with him. I told him at one point, at least divorced moms get a break once in awhile, I never do. The silence from him was palpable.

Anyway make sure he does some of the work with the kids. Also reach out to friends for support, and make sure you do one nice thing for you, and just you every day.

(((and strength)))

Him: FWS
Kids: 18 & 20
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

Posts: 13437 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^ This^^^ TN is right

He's not off the hook financially or time wise. Make him stand up to his obligations.

You can do this. If you feel like you can't don't be afraid to ask for support from those of us here and in your daily life.

Be good to yourself. Take time to rest, eat and drink so you have energy to get things done.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

Posts: 9596 | Registered: Apr 2008
Topic Posts: 3

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