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I'm taking my power back.

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Lostandpregnant posted 12/3/2013 12:27 PM

If you've been following my saga (or want to) here it is:

1) http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=514537

2) http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=514734

3)http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=515226


Today I received an email from the one who left me.
It blew me away. This is what it said. My comments to you guys about it are in brackets.

"You know goddamn well why I haven't responded... (No actually, I don't)
and I was getting your texts until the "you're not a man" one, at which time it became necessary to block your texts and calls, so I didn't get any voicemail.
(Chastising me for my "behaviour" as always, and blame shifting)

Your desperate threats to force me to respond serve only to widen the gap and cement my decision.
(I have threatened NOTHING. Nor have I tried to force him to respond to ANYTHING. This line pissed me off more than anything..."widen the gap"? The gap widened when he LEFT ME AND WENT AWAY WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. And "cement my decision"..as though he still has the power to decide if I am WORTHY OF HIM?)
I'll be back home late tomorrow night so will respond after."
(Home from your VACATION WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!!! No, please don't take the time to actually communicate with ME now that your vacation is over, you peice of shit).


I responded. This is my last email to him, and I have now blocked him from everything. His email shows me that he is 100% remorseless, and I know without a doubt that if he DID email me "tomorrow night" it would be full of rage and abuse.

NO. FUCKING. MORE.

This was my response, and now he is blocked.

"Save your typing.
There are no words left to say.
Goodbye.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw"

[This message edited by Lostandpregnant at 12:32 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]

Lola7 posted 12/3/2013 12:40 PM

Wow. I think your husband is just as delusional as mine! And my my he really thinks he's a fucking prize doesn't he?!

Complete. Fucking. Dirtbag.


[This message edited by Lola7 at 12:40 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]

Lostandpregnant posted 12/3/2013 12:59 PM

Yes he does.
And I've enabled that by worshiping the ground he walks on for years and years.
He has always known I would always be there for him.
I've always had his back, always been loyal, always been there for him.

No more.

His email spoke so loudly to me, it feels like I am seeing HIM for what he is.

Secrets Kept posted 12/3/2013 13:03 PM

Yeaaaa.....been following your saga & just wanted to say....."woohoo for you"!!!

I know it still hurts though but so proud of you.

Keep posting. We are here for you.

browneyesbelieve posted 12/3/2013 13:03 PM

(((lostandpregnant)))

You are strong! You are so much better and deserve so much better than this POS.

God help the idiot that's shacked up with him because he seriously has deeper issues that will never be resolved and if she knows of his communications with you and approves, she deserves all the hell she's in for.

You might consider a restraining order if you can get one to show him you mean business.

(((hugs)))

NoAnswers37 posted 12/3/2013 13:11 PM

(((((LaP)))) you brave brave lady!!

Well done for blocking him - that cannot have been easy but he just seems completely out of it so it's the best thing you could have done for you.

I totally get the no remorse thing - I have never been so frustrated in my life with the re-writing of history and bullshit that comes out of their mouths, but never forget YOU are the sane, decent and honest one. He certainly is not...

We are all here for you and you are very very strong indeed. He's messed with the wrong girl this time.

Take massive care sweetie.

Lostandpregnant posted 12/3/2013 13:18 PM

Thank you all. SO much.

In case the link doesn't work to the youtube video I sent him for anyone, these are the lyrics of the song I sent him after I wrote goodbye.

"There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch, it's bringing me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear
Go 'head and sell me out and I'll lay your shit bare
See how I leave with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do

There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch
And it's bringing me out the dark

The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it, to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Baby, I have no story to be told
But I've heard one on you
And I'm gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Make a home down there
As mine sure won't be shared

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
The scars of your love remind me of us
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it, to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside of your hand
But you played it, with a beating

Throw your soul through every open door (woah)
Count your blessings to find what you look for (woah)
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold (woah)
You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow (woah)
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
It all, it all, it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)

But you played it
You played it
You played it
You played it to the beat."

Adele - Rolling In The Deep Lyrics | MetroLyrics

sudra posted 12/3/2013 14:14 PM

Hey, you found your bitch boots! I'm so sorry he's such a jerk, but there you have it. Sometimes anger is better than feeling like a puddle of tears.

By "home," does he mean with you? If so, is there any reason why he shouldn't return "home" to his stuff in garbage bags on the lawn and the locks changed?

PricklePatch posted 12/3/2013 14:19 PM

What steps can you take to keep him out of your home.

Lostandpregnant posted 12/3/2013 14:20 PM

Nope, he means home 2000 miles away. (Explained below).

[This message edited by Lostandpregnant at 2:24 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]

Lostandpregnant posted 12/3/2013 14:23 PM

Its somewhat complicated, but we had a home here in Canada (it is 100% in my name and was my inheritance) and another one in California (apartment) that is in his name. His daughter from his first marriage was going thru cancer treatments, so there has been a lot of travelling back and forth.
But no, this is MY house, and everything in it is mine. We had planned on selling it and living in California full time after the babies were born.
Thank goodness I have my house and he can't touch it.
I don't even care about any of my stuff that is in California, he can pitch it all for all I care.
Except my doc martins I've had since I was 15. I'll miss those, dammit.

[This message edited by Lostandpregnant at 2:23 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]

ascian posted 12/3/2013 14:37 PM

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling some power of your own.

Lostandpregnant posted 12/3/2013 14:38 PM

Let's hope it lasts.

Lostandpregnant posted 12/3/2013 14:47 PM

I just cannot believe his line about how my trying to communicate with him in the days following him leaving me "cemented" his decision to leave me.

As if I am just sitting here while he was on vacation with her, hoping he might change his mind?!

Like, seriously?
As if I'd been imagining that he would be fucking her all week, on a leisurely trip, whilst deciding whether to return to me or not?! WTF?

iwillNOT posted 12/3/2013 15:08 PM

LAP -

You are awesome! You take that power back; you never lost it in the first place but he brainwashed you out of knowing it.

Ride this wave, use that anger, and if you fall off the horse just climb back on.

We are all behind you!

BrighterFuture posted 12/3/2013 15:20 PM

You rock!!!

So so proud of you. You're one of the strongest people I have seen here at SI. Good job for seeing through his shitty message.

He is no price. FTG! AAAARRRRGGGG

tushnurse posted 12/3/2013 15:23 PM

LAP - I have been mainly silent, since you started here, but I have to say, you are doing yourself the biggest favor you ever could by taking back the power.

It is a no win situation, and really the OW she has done a huge favor, you no longer have to deal with his shit. Let him go abuse her.

Stay Strong. You deserve so much more, and you will have hit, because you demand it.

((((and strength))))

doggiediva posted 12/3/2013 15:49 PM

I agree with everybody above me, you are very strong..
(((((Hugs to you)))))
I am glad that the POS can't touch your house or succeed in turning all of the practical aspects of your life upside down..

[This message edited by doggiediva at 3:50 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]

Horsegirl posted 12/3/2013 16:13 PM

Wait, is this my ex? Yeah two months for me and mine says the same type of stuff. I am getting stronger but you rocked it!

ascian posted 12/3/2013 16:22 PM

Let's hope it lasts.

Even when your sense of empowerment slips, and it will sometimes, that's alright. You've felt it once, you know it's possible.

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