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My Kid's Insane Christmas List

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ajsmom posted 12/4/2013 12:03 PM

Dying here...

AJ just sent me this link:


Rebreather posted 12/4/2013 12:17 PM

Love it! LOL

I remember telling my son he could not have something and he said, "Fine. I will just ask Santa!"

sunandmoon posted 12/4/2013 12:21 PM

remember telling my son he could not have something and he said, "Fine. I will just ask Santa!"

YUP! My son has told me he can get an xbox one from Santa because Santa doesn't have a budget.



ajsmom posted 12/4/2013 12:22 PM

OMG, the American Girl craze.

All three of my nieces were fans.

Spawned from the devil, I tell ya!

A couple of years ago, I helped my sister take her three boys and daughter to Chicago for the day.

One of the stops had to be the American Girl store......I would have rather poked my eyes out.

We walk in and my youngest nephew turns to me and says "And what are we supposed to do here while Sami shops?"

I looked right at him and said, "Hang onto your manhood."

ETA: Actually, this store has this down. All I had to do was hand over my license and a credit card and all three boys were handed Nintendo DS systems to keep them occupied.

[This message edited by ajsmom at 12:25 PM, December 4th (Wednesday)]

tushnurse posted 12/4/2013 12:31 PM

LMAO at the American Girl Doll stories. We went to the Chicago store when the kids were about 7 and 9. I have a picture of my son standing next to a case with an army of Just Like Me dolls. His look on his face is one of horror, and confusion. That pic still makes me laugh.

"I'll just ask Santa" That one got my kid in a fight at school. There was a big argument that Santa HAD to be real because there was NO WAY we as parents could afford the AwESOME gifts Santa brings year after year. Of course it crushed me to have to break it to him that Santa was us, but I was really afraid of a playground brawl related to it.

Rebreather posted 12/4/2013 12:36 PM

Tush, my daughter came to me in grade school saying the same thing! "Mom, the kids were saying Santa is the parents but I told them NO WAY could my parents afford all of that!" And I said, "you are so right honey." No brawls, though.

I LOVED the AG store when my daughter was little. She still has her two dolls and loves them (at nearly 18). Her boyfriend tells her they are creepy, so she always puts them on a chair in her room when he comes over.

ISPIFFD posted 12/4/2013 12:39 PM

I'd never heard of American Girl until I went to a convention in Chicago many years ago. One of my fellow attendees raved about how she HAD to go to the store for her daughter, so I tagged along out of curiosity. I was just floored by how a store could seem to be one giant scam, and so so thankful my son only wanted TMNTs and Power Rangers crap.

Thanks for posting that link -- it had me howling!

nowiknow23 posted 12/4/2013 12:40 PM

That link is hysterical.

My sister shared her 8 yo daughter's Christmas list:

1. A roll of duct tape.
2. Handcuffs.
(the "Ted Bundy Starter Kit" as my sister calls it)

3. A bullhorn
4. An air horn
(and I quote, "Because the one thing she needs is amplification")

5. A rhesus monkey.

Lordy, I would LOVE to spend a day inside this girl's head.

Aubrie posted 12/4/2013 12:45 PM

I'm a bad mother. I let DD look at the AG books, then I haul my cheap butt down to Target and get the $30 version of the AG doll.

MissesJai posted 12/4/2013 17:25 PM

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime." The fuck is this?

jo2love posted 12/4/2013 18:16 PM

They would sit me down and explain that Santa wasn't a Formula One mechanic and that I shouldn't be a fucking idiot.

Her boyfriend tells her they are creepy, so she always puts them on a chair in her room when he comes over.

1. A roll of duct tape.
2. Handcuffs.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 6:28 PM, December 4th (Wednesday)]

jo2love posted 12/4/2013 18:19 PM

Thank you, Ajsmom. I've got tears running down my face and my laughing woke up the kitten that was sleeping on me.

metamorphisis posted 12/4/2013 18:38 PM

The fuck is this? What am I, Galactus? Do you understand the catastrophic universal implications of possessing a shape-shifting, time-traveling device? Even Rob Gronkowski knows that isn't to be toyed with. You could turn it into a separate moon any time you like and then the Earth would be fucking DESTROYED by the additional gravitation. You cannot be trusted with this at age 7. If such a thing existed and were affordable, I wouldn't have children. I would have a SPACE BROTHEL. There's a reason that we have the laws of physics in place. And you expect this thing to be portable as well? You cannot have this.


itainteasy posted 12/5/2013 09:10 AM

^I saw this on facebook yesterday. And I laughed so hard I almost passed out at this exact part of the article.

"You cannot be trusted with this at age 7." I love how this implies that perhaps at age 8, we'll see.

ninebark posted 12/5/2013 09:33 AM

My son tells me he wants a War Goat.

Apparently this is a necessity for when one plans to take over the world.

Luckly he hasn't figured a way around city by-laws regarding keeping livestock.

ajsmom posted 12/5/2013 09:44 AM

My favorite:

"1,000 bucks." This is Christmas, not an Italian wedding. Uncle Vito isn't gonna slip you an envelope in between stints at the raw bar. We put thought into our gifts here. You want cash? Clear the spiders out of the attic. I'll give you three bucks for it. A thousand dollars. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry, but you cannot have this.

SBB posted 12/8/2013 06:12 AM

Holly-Isis posted 12/8/2013 10:52 AM

Thanks for this...I actually did LOL.

Guess I have made my kids too practical because they always keep their lists to ten real items. I should look at them with more humor.

Funny how we remember the things we wished year all I wanted was a boom box. Not a big one. Just one to listen to the radio and tapes in my room. I got a bathrobe.

DD has asked for Saige because she's artistic. I told her I didn't care what AG said, if she wanted her doll to be name Princess Fluffernutter from the year 2345, then that was who her doll would be. I would NOT buy her a doll based on the backstory. Their clothes and accessories are are their stories. It opened a whole new world for her.

One year MIL decided DD should get the puppy she wanted. So she got one of those "alive" dogs that bark when you walk past it and wiggles it tail like a perv trying to lure the kid in.

Unfortunately for her that's the year I decided I wanted a dog and we found an adorable toy poodle pup that was over a month past his "sell by" date. so we got a good deal and Chip got a home. The mechanical dog got a from the girl with the real puppy. And I get a good laugh that MIL was trying to add a bit of control in my home yet again and lost out big time.

ETA- Nik, I don't know if that kid fascinates me or scares me.

[This message edited by Holly-Isis at 10:54 AM, December 8th (Sunday)]

nowiknow23 posted 12/8/2013 10:59 AM

ETA- Nik, I don't know if that kid fascinates me or scares me.
She is a total kook. I lean more toward the fascination with her, although it is unsettling when she pretends to be "Creepy Clown."

metamorphisis posted 12/8/2013 11:06 AM

My son tells me he wants a War Goat.

That's kind of awesome and makes me want one. I mean if it's some kind of specialized gun or weapon that I am unaware of, then I don't want it. But a regular old goat with strategic skills and battle plans? Sign me up.

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