WS had an EA that supposedly never went PA, but lasted a long time and the betrayal and lies are killing me. WS supposedly stopped all contact the day I found out.
WS remorseful, sad, working hard to make it better. Doing everything right. Things seem to be good. We are closer than ever. We do everything together now. I'm trying to trust. I'm trying hard to believe, but we had two false R before. this is the first time WS agreed to the NC and agreed to it instead of me demanding it. I think WS gets it now. Maybe its just because of the texts I saw of him asking to meet for sex or her admission that she loved him and had told him. But she agreed to NC, claims the requests were never acted upon...and she's convincing.
I just keep having moments where I doubt everything. I'm monitoring emails, phone records, searching ipad and iphone, and still always wondering if they are still in contact.
I'm thinking of adding a keylogger to her computer now.
Somehow this seems like such an escalation, and moving in the wrong direction. Someone tell me it's too far. The other part of me wants to find way to monitor the phone too.
It would be totally easy to have switched to the work phone or a different messaging system or email account.
I know I'm on the edge here but every discovery was made due to my digging so it's hard not to. I know, however, that unless she's stupid or careless she can still do so secretly. I know it's a pointless effort and keeps me focused on the past and the lack of trust.
When do you just accept the choice isn't in your hands? How far should I take the searching? knowing she can always make the wrong choice in a way can't find, all paths seem pointless.
I love her and we want R. It's just driving me nuts.