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kmom2662 posted 12/5/2013 07:58 AM

Everywhere I go, everything I do, there seem to be things that remind me of the terrible thing I did-- music on the radio, a mention on TV of a particular part of the country, things at work. I feel like locking myself in the house, but that doesn't help either, because the guilt and shame are in my head, so there's no escaping it, no matter what I do. I'm revolted by all of the things that remind me of that 2-month period. Yesterday, H and I found out that OM had viewed my linked-in page 6 weeks ago, 3 weeks after a very strongly worded NC email from me. I never use that account, actually forgot it existed, so we found it by accident. It started a whole new wave of pain, worry, and anger. I saw my husband fall apart all over again. We talked about it all evening; I ended up throwing up from the anxiety. I have IC again on Monday, just needed to vent a little to make it through the day.

Deeply Scared posted 12/5/2013 12:02 PM


It's all a process, there are no quick fixes to get around it all. The only way through it is go through it.

I think it's really positive that you both talked in such detail about it...that's a very good sign

Aubrie posted 12/5/2013 12:25 PM


The early days royally suck. I remember them well.

I agree with DS. You have to go thru it, not around it. With time and hard work, it will lessen.

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