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Lostandpregnant posted 12/5/2013 09:01 AM

find it SO hard to read the threads where people are still seeing their other person..or threads where the spouse is actually sorry..or threads where the spouse didn't just disappear?

It hurts so much.

ruby44 posted 12/5/2013 09:04 AM

YES!!!!
I stopped going to some threads because to see the WS put in any kind of effort tears my heart out! I focus on the S/D threads and a few others but stay clear of the Reconciliation posts for sure.
Stay strong...we can do this....I am sure!

Lola7 posted 12/5/2013 09:14 AM

It doesn't bother me too much. I just know how awful the BS has to feel going through all that shit. I guess I'd rather be where I'm at.

But I'm more of a rip the band-aid off kind of person.

I think it takes great strength for anyone to really try reconciliation.

Lostandpregnant posted 12/5/2013 09:16 AM

I don't resent anyone who has the chance to try and work through it or anything..it just stabs me because I didn't get that chance.

nowiknow23 posted 12/5/2013 09:19 AM

((((lostandpregnant))))

No12turn2 posted 12/5/2013 09:37 AM

I don't like to look, but I do. I feel obligated to help support some of the new members.

Nature_Girl posted 12/5/2013 10:17 AM

Yes, it used to just eviscerate me to read threads in which the WS actually made an effort to R. Or at least said they were sorry. I never ever even got a "sorry". I never even got an admission or acknowledgement that he'd done anything, let alone done anything wrong. He never acknowledged that I was hurt in any way.

sparkysable posted 12/5/2013 10:17 AM

I cringe when I see the BS giving the WS a chance, when they clearly don't deserve it, and are most likely going to do it again. I want to scream at them to run.

HurtsButImOK posted 12/5/2013 12:30 PM

I guess I view it a little differently.

I read the R and Wayward forums frequently. My X was a weak, cowardly, unremorseful POS so reading others who royally fucked up but have the courage to face their issues and try to be a better person gives me hope. It shows me people can be better if they want to be.

JFO is still a little raw though.

Vulcanized posted 12/5/2013 12:50 PM

I read most. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, but I think that's just I need more time to pass.

I read JFO, but that can be really hard to take at times. I can't post due to being a MH, so I try not to even read in there too much.

((Lost))

Housefulloflove posted 12/5/2013 15:20 PM

I find it hard to read threads in JFO or Gen where the WS is unremorseful and the BS is spinning trying to figure out WTF is happening to them or trying to talk themselves into calling it "reconciling". It triggers so many memories and feelings and I find it hard not to feel absolute rage that someone is putting another person through that kind of hell.

The threads where the WS *IS* actually doing the right things doesn't bother me even though nothing like that happened in my situation. My ex turned into a giant POS (well..more like he finally let me in on the secret that he is a giant POS!) and has not done a single thing a remorseful WS would do.

gypsybird87 posted 12/5/2013 17:34 PM

I stay completely out of the Reconciliation forum for that very reason. My XWH had no remorse and no regrets so R was never an option. While I know (in my head) that any "I'm sorry" or "I love you and don't want to lose you!" I got from him probably would have been fake, there is a big part of me (my heart!) that is still broken and trying to heal from never hearing those words. So seeing others get to hear them definitely stings.

I'm careful of the threads I choose in General for the same reason- it seems like a lot of the posters in there are in R. D/S is my safe haven and the forum I spend the most time in.

I do read in JFO. Sometimes it's hard, but mostly it reminds me how far I've come. Because I remember the way JFO felt... so lost and scared, like the whole world was ending. I still have down days, but I'm soooo much better off than I was then. Sometimes I need that reminder. Also, I find it really therapeutic to post support to the folks in JFO. On days I feel like I can't seem to help myself, it makes me feel a lot better when I help others.

Gemini71 posted 12/5/2013 20:00 PM

Yep. I have to stay out of some of the forums. It's just too raw. There are times when I just can't put myself through it.

shiloe posted 12/5/2013 20:23 PM

I don't resent anyone who has the chance to try and work through it or anything..it just stabs me because I didn't get that chance.

I did give the gift of R back in 2001 per his request. It is very hard. But we made it through. So I thought. He did it again 11 yrs. later.

I cringe when I see the BS giving the WS a chance, when they clearly don't deserve it, and are most likely going to do it again. I want to scream at them to run.

Exactly.

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