I don't know what I'm really asking for, just wondering if others have experiences like this they can share.
So sorry you have to deal with this. Ugh the fur-babies. . . .
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
It is such a difficult thing to do. I don't think there's any right or wrong way to do this with WW. Just do what feels right to you. As much as I loathe the Gnat, he loved our dog too and I know it would have been important for him to be there. I guess I feel it's similar to if one if the kids had to be hospitalized or something, I would want him to be there for the kids.
I'll be thinking of you today and wishing you strength to get through this difficult day.
[This message edited by newlysingle at 10:13 AM, December 5th (Thursday)]
It may be easier for you since you're already separated. If you've never helped a pet cross the Rainbow Bridge before, be warned it can and will bring out powerful reactions you don't expect.
"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
I'm sorry about your pup.
It's a bad experience under the best circumstance. No advice, just some empathy.
We always chose to honor our dogs last day and make it great, a trip to White Castles, to the park for some squirrel watching, what they loved. Doing that I know is more for us, than them, but I figured if I was dying I'd want a few of my favorite things too.
My only recommendation is to keep the focus on the situation at hand, saying good bye to a beloved family member, and thats all.
Wishing you comfort peace, and warm memories today.
Just my 2 cents
I initially didn't want a puppy, but my XWH insisted. Of course, once we actually got the dog, I was the one who cared for him and he became 100% my baby. After D-day, XWH came to the house to get the last of his stuff. I went to ridiculous lengths to ensure that he never even laid eyes on the dog. Correction- MY dog.
There is no way in hell I would even tell him the dog was sick or potentially need to be put down, and I would absolutely not tolerate his presence. Putting down an animal is very, very hard. I've had to do it three times. Please don't allow any additional stress by her presence.
It's hypocritical to me the way these cheaters think. DECIDE, assholes. You either have a heart, or you don't. You have a soul, or you don't. You have a conscience that resembles human, or you don't. You can't betray someone who loved you and trusted you and committed their life to you, without so much as a second thought... and then cry crocodile tears at the passing of a pet you "loved", and expect to be welcomed and comforted by the spouse you betrayed.
Ugh. I'm sad and infuriated on your behalf.
Sending hugs to you.
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin
I am so sorry for what you are facing. You being there is an important part of your dog's journey, and also an important lesson for your children, I think, about commitment and staying through the end. Its funny, but sometimes I believe that children deal with these things far better than adults do.
With your WW there, I don't know ... I try to imagine how I would feel in that position. I think all you can do is remind yourself that the dog is a creature that you both loved, each in your own way. Being there in your dog's final moments is much more about doing what is right for your dog, than it is about you being there for WW or vice versa. Sure, it is something that you shared, but this part of the journey - namely, grief - will be a path you walk mostly alone.
That is all easier said than done, of course. There is no way around how difficult that experience will be for all of you.
Be kind to yourself. And all of us animal lovers here on SI (boy, there are a LOT), we will be there in heart and thought with you.
All dogs go to Heaven, my friend. You will see them again.
Fooled twice - almost exactly 10 years apart.
All in all it was a good goodbye. Now Willie has followed Mandela to the hereafter to take care of him...an honorable puppy thing to do.
[This message edited by kg201 at 7:52 AM, December 6th (Friday)]
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.