I remember after dday still having quite a bit of faith and trust in my husband's words.
I ignored the truth in front of me for the truth I chose to create.
My husband would never have an affair
My husband is honest
We have a marriage that is safe and better than most
I answered my nagging questions with "yeah buts"
The evidence in front of me didn't match the marriage I allowed myself to believe I had.
Sticking your head in the sand, denial, stupidity, call it what you will.
It is one of the biggest enemies in an attempt to R and an invitation for your spouse to continue to cheat or repeat if not addressed.
Can you face your truth? Do you have the nagging feeling but sweep it away? Do you ignore repeated, consistent opinions of others because they do not fit into the mold you have created for what your life really is
Eventually to get to R we have to face our lives honestly. Pull down the picket fence, look on the other side and start to accept what we see is the truth.
We cannot fix, heal or change what we do not acknowledge.
Personal healing and growth has been our focus since we decided to R.(I figure with the crap I had hidden in my closet and under my rugs I will forever be working on me. ) Facing our truth, going inside and saying the words you don't ever want to hear, viewing our life for what it really was.
It's hard, it hurts.
But when you start to take off the layers there is beauty underneath. There are great moments of triumph when we over-come a struggle, understand a FOO issue and move forward.
What are you holding onto that you won't face? Can you get the courage to face your truth and move forward towards a healthy, authentic life?
I bet you can and in the end, I guarantee you will be thankful you did.