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User
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Topic: Well, I guess that's that
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TheRealDeal
♀ 39560
Member # 39560 |  Posted: 1:53 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 |     |
the writing was on the wall. I held out hope. I really thought we'd make it. I know in my heart I did everything I could, but after 18 years, its over. poof, just like that. we talked again last night and he decided he definitely wants out. so I'm letting him go
my heart is breaking. I know I'll make it, I've only grown stronger since May, but it sure hurts like hell to hear those words "it's over" 
so I'm now down in D/S forum. no need to be in general or reconciliation any longer.
Me (BS): 46 him (fws): 54
together 18 years
DDay1, DDay2, Dday 3: March thru June 2013
in R and trying to make it
Never lose yourself trying to hang onto someone who doesn't care about losing you.
Posts: 316 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast |
PhoenixRising88
♀ 35214
Member # 35214 | | Posted: 1:54 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
(((((RealDeal))))
Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.
Divorce final 2/10/14.
Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.
Posts: 436 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas |
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226 | | Posted: 1:54 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
Aw, honey. ((((realdeal)))) You'll find a lot of great support here. We've got you.
You can call me NIK
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Posts: 28242 | Registered: Aug 2011 |
HurtsButImOK
♀ 38865
Member # 38865 | | Posted: 2:08 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
((TheRealDeal))
The death of hope is very painful, be gentle with yourself and allow yourself time to grieve and mourn.
(((TheRealDeal)))
Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia |
WeepingBuddhist
♀ 39139
Member # 39139 | | Posted: 2:49 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
(((realdeal)))
it's going to be hard but you can do it.
Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14
Posts: 735 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus |
careerlady
♀ 16958
Member # 16958 | | Posted: 3:11 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
((Realdeal)) I have recently started off in the divorce process. We'll get through this together
Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI
Posts: 943 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California |
msk99
♂ 29293
Member # 29293 | | Posted: 3:15 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
((Realdeal))
BS (Me): 40 STBXWW (Her): 40
M: 15 Years, 2 Awesome Boys
Divorced
Five simple rules of happiness:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
Posts: 712 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Alberta |
Lostandpregnant
♀ 41433
Member # 41433 | | Posted: 3:16 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
Hugs. I'm so sorry.
He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.
Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada |
whatdoto
♀ 28555
Member # 28555 | | Posted: 3:17 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
((Therealdeal))
You will be OK. Really. I was married 17 years and poof! all gone. I've only been divorced 2 months. Take one day at a time and be good to yourself.
Hugs
"If your ideal image of yourself is in the future, it's going to stay there".
Posts: 1187 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Texas |
StillLivin
♀ 40229
Member # 40229 | | Posted: 3:27 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
(((TheRealDeal)))
I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014
Posts: 2788 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ |
gypsybird87
♀ 39193
Member # 39193 | | Posted: 5:40 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
((the realdeal))
So sorry you find yourself here, but you are in good company. This is great group, always ready with advice and support, or just a virtual hug.
You'll be okay.
Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
Posts: 1215 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon |
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554 | | Posted: 6:35 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
I'm sorry, Honey. We'll walk with you. You're not alone.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
Posts: 10457 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA |
Pass
♂ 38122
Member # 38122 | | Posted: 9:21 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
I remember making the move from Reconciliation to this forum. Fucking hated it. Then within two weeks I felt on top of the world; I loved my newfound freedom!
Then I spent the next couple months crying and drinking and crying. It's not easy, but it can be done. Every few weeks I notice how much stronger I am than I was before.
There are some great people on here. Listen to them, accept their advice, accept their hugs. You'll get stronger too.
Everyone does.
Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous
Posts: 2158 | Registered: Jan 2013 |
tryingagain74
♀ 33698
Member # 33698 | | Posted: 10:05 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
Sorry, TRD. We've got your back.
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
Posts: 3725 | Registered: Oct 2011 |
Lyonesse
♀ 32943
Member # 32943 | | Posted: 10:12 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
I'm sorry, TRD. D/S is a hard place to be, but I often look at the stories in New Beginnings, and some of them are awesome!
Wish I could send more comfort, but I know you'll get lots of advice and understanding in this forum.
Me: BS, 40's.
Posts: 1839 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast |
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823 | | Posted: 10:13 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
TRD, you've gotten lots of hugs already so I'm going to offer you some practical advice.....
Shield.Up.
Focus on YOURSELF and what YOU deserve because I'll almost guarantee you that your WH's "I'm done" proclamation is going to be followed by some type of Hoover-maneuver on his part in the not-so-distant future.
And {{{{TRD}}}} (because that shit hurts). I'm so sorry.
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Posts: 8432 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest |
shiloe
♀ 1224
Member # 1224 | | Posted: 10:32 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013 | |
I am so sorry to hear that.
Hated that I had to move to D/S too. 26yrs. flushed.
However, I made up my mind, I would rather be alone than be with a unrepentant cheater.
Time. It is going to take time.
Slow down. Take care of you.
It is what it is. Life is just plain hard sometimes and loyal, faithful spouses get the sh*t end of the stick.
But, cheaters sometime get what they deserve.
Prepare for a long hard battle.
But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 55
Cheater -55
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with yet another married ho-worker. D'ing
Posts: 727 | Registered: Mar 2003 |
| Topic Posts: 17 | |
