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TheRealDeal (original poster member #39560) posted at 7:53 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2013
the writing was on the wall. I held out hope. I really thought we'd make it. I know in my heart I did everything I could, but after 18 years, its over. poof, just like that. we talked again last night and he decided he definitely wants out. so I'm letting him go
my heart is breaking. I know I'll make it, I've only grown stronger since May, but it sure hurts like hell to hear those words "it's over" 
so I'm now down in D/S forum. no need to be in general or reconciliation any longer.
Me (BS): 47 him (Xws): 55
together 18 years
DDay1, DDay2, Dday 3: March - June 2013
Dday4 + June 2015 through January 2016
Status: done I called it quits 1-6-2016
The hardest part of letting go is realizing there wasn't much left to hold on to
PhoenixRising88 ( member #35214) posted at 7:54 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2013
Me: BS(45)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(52). D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/13. Divorced 1/10/14.
New chapter of my life- married 11/13/15 to the man I'd thought I would never find.
Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 7:54 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2013
Aw, honey. ((((realdeal)))) You'll find a lot of great support here. We've got you.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
HurtsButImOK ( member #38865) posted at 8:08 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2013
((TheRealDeal))
The death of hope is very painful, be gentle with yourself and allow yourself time to grieve and mourn.
(((TheRealDeal)))
Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
WeepingBuddhist ( member #39139) posted at 8:49 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2013
(((realdeal)))
it's going to be hard but you can do it.
Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14
careerlady ( member #16958) posted at 9:11 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2013
((Realdeal)) I have recently started off in the divorce process. We'll get through this together
Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI
msk99 ( member #29293) posted at 9:15 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2013
BS (Me): 40 STBXWW (Her): 40
M: 15 Years, 2 Awesome Boys
Divorced
Five simple rules of happiness:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
Lostandpregnant ( member #41433) posted at 9:16 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2013
He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.
whatdoto ( member #28555) posted at 9:17 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2013
((Therealdeal))
You will be OK. Really. I was married 17 years and poof! all gone. I've only been divorced 2 months. Take one day at a time and be good to yourself.
Hugs
"If your ideal image of yourself is in the future, it's going to stay there".
StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 9:27 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2013
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
gypsybird87 ( member #39193) posted at 11:40 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2013
((the realdeal))
So sorry you find yourself here, but you are in good company. This is great group, always ready with advice and support, or just a virtual hug.
You'll be okay.
Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 12:35 AM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
I'm sorry, Honey. We'll walk with you. You're not alone.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
Pass ( member #38122) posted at 3:21 AM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
I remember making the move from Reconciliation to this forum. Fucking hated it. Then within two weeks I felt on top of the world; I loved my newfound freedom!
Then I spent the next couple months crying and drinking and crying. It's not easy, but it can be done. Every few weeks I notice how much stronger I am than I was before.
There are some great people on here. Listen to them, accept their advice, accept their hugs. You'll get stronger too.
Everyone does.
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 4:05 AM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
Sorry, TRD. We've got your back.
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
Lyonesse ( member #32943) posted at 4:12 AM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
I'm sorry, TRD. D/S is a hard place to be, but I often look at the stories in New Beginnings, and some of them are awesome!
Wish I could send more comfort, but I know you'll get lots of advice and understanding in this forum.
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 4:13 AM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
TRD, you've gotten lots of hugs already so I'm going to offer you some practical advice.....
Shield.Up.
Focus on YOURSELF and what YOU deserve because I'll almost guarantee you that your WH's "I'm done" proclamation is going to be followed by some type of Hoover-maneuver on his part in the not-so-distant future.
And {{{{TRD}}}} (because that shit hurts). I'm so sorry.
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
shiloe ( member #1224) posted at 4:32 AM on Friday, December 6th, 2013
I am so sorry to hear that.
Hated that I had to move to D/S too. 26yrs. flushed.
However, I made up my mind, I would rather be alone than be with a unrepentant cheater.
Time. It is going to take time.
Slow down. Take care of you.
It is what it is. Life is just plain hard sometimes and loyal, faithful spouses get the sh*t end of the stick.
But, cheaters sometime get what they deserve.
Prepare for a long hard battle.
But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 58 Dday 03/2011
Cheater -58 Married 26 yrs
DD - 23 DD -21 DS-19
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA- new MCOW D-2/17
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