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catatonic posted 12/5/2013 14:16 PM

Have been working with husband since DDay.
He has admitted to a LTA. With OW at work And use of porn. of which he has been very open about. Says he is disgusted that he started viewing porn online. Has giving me any detail I ask for.
We are in MC and IC. He cries, talks, and gives me lots of support. I'm still at the very new stage.
After reading many posts on Internet uses, date sites, porn use. And seeing some risky mail in spam and pop ups. I began to wonder, but thought it may be related to my recent checks on infidelity affairs, I thought I would check our home computer. I am computer challenged. Usually asking my teens for advice. I found in cookies, porn sites( expected that since he admitted from day one). But was disturbed to see the following sites..., I, match. Com.
Is there a way for me to see when this was used if it was used
I saw Craig's list.. But I have gone on for tickets. I am reluctant to confront him, I don't want him to know my source.
But want to know if he has been active in these sites. On dDay he denied any Other OWs or online dating.
Thinking he has been transparent I'm really hurt now
Any help or advice.

ascian posted 12/5/2013 14:59 PM

You can check the browser's History function to see what sites were visited and when. It's possible to delete the History on a browser, it's pretty easy actually, but most people don't bother.

You can PM me if you want specific information on how to dig into browser history and the like. I try not to put that stuff on the public-facing forums here, since it's too likely that a WS may come across it and use my helpful information to hide their own actions.

longtimemarried posted 12/5/2013 16:05 PM

Whatever you do, DON'T tell him how you found out, whether by the history browser or by spyware software or any other way! The cheater can get very sneaky and go further "underground".

ascian posted 12/5/2013 16:07 PM

Absolutely, longtimemarried. That's why I'm not posting any specific advice in JFO. I'm happy to divulge in PM though, since it was my wife's online activities that tipped me off to her physical affair.

sideblinded posted 12/5/2013 17:30 PM


I'm right where you are now, working just off what I found in browser history and a simple hard drive search. My H confessed to the porn but claims the hookup site I found was a popup. I don't believe him. I know how frustrating it is not being tech savvy and wanting more information NOW. I'm waiting around for my WH to become more active on his computer in case he doesn't delete browser history. But I, too, would like to know how to dig around a hard drive to see EVERY internet site visited in the last... however long, how often visited, etc.

Ascian, I too could use your expertise. I don't have the requisite number of posts yet to initiate a PM. Could you send me a PM so I could ask you a question or two?

steadfast1973 posted 12/5/2013 17:37 PM

Porn does have pop ups. A lot. And they are those cheater sites. As well as sites for escorts and other stuff. However, generally, pop up ads, do not have cookies. He would have had to click on it. It could still be curiosity/ spank bank material, but will likely escalate.

catatonic posted 12/5/2013 19:32 PM

Thank you for the advice ..
"Side blinded" your recent posts are what started me thinking.
You seemed to be very together and thinking in a clear direction. I have teenagers also. And many friends over always. So these sites bother me in every way.
I wish I had IT experience.
Funny my WH used to be mad at DD for going on webkins, star doll or other games afraid it woe bring viruses to the computer!!

bonnets posted 12/5/2013 21:57 PM

be careful, lay low, watch, but stand against porn.

AlexFL posted 12/5/2013 22:09 PM

I am not against porn. Men are visual. I know that probably sounds terrible to many but men love porn. I don't think watching porn leads to cheating. I do feel that if someone prefers watching porn to having intimate time with their partner that it's a problem.

Dating sites and hook up sites are a different story. I would clear the cookies and look at the history again in a month or so. You can also research this very inexpensive program that will snap a picture of every screen your husband looks at on the computer. It can email the pics to you or u can opt to have them saved in the program hidden on the computer. It's undetectable.

I decided I didn't want to play detective anymore but it's an amazing tool to make you feel better about what he is up to when you can't stand guard. (You just might not always like what you see)

bonnets posted 12/6/2013 16:26 PM

Can you send me a pm on how to get deleted browser history? Thanks

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