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Newest Member: WOPR (61467)

User Topic: how do you know which road to take
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i just feel like wh an I are not on the same page

I have grown and changed, he has not

I dont think that I can be the person I really want to be married to him

We separated for 3 years after the A (he lived with ow for 1 yr and left her and tried to R with me the other 2 years) and just this past year moved back in together. I feel like I made a good effort, but really, he doesn't support me. he belittles me, puts me down,

I remember several years ago I was at a wedding. I bumped into a friend who said, "oohhh... orange and brown..." and I sorta sucked in my breath and waited for a insult. Friend went on to say, "I like it! You have a very fall feel to you! And those shoes are great!"

Looking back, I feel really sad. My husband puts me down so much, I just feel like everyone will.

It shouldn't be this way

Also, I don't trust him. My friend just told me she's going to do IVF. When I go off the phone, WH said, Oh, what is going on with Suzi? I though, "Ummm... no. I don't trust you not to use this to be mean to my friend if we divorce" I said, "Nothing!"

I just don't care anymore. Im tired and want to move on. Do you have any fight after that feeling?

Posts: 2432 | Registered: Jan 2010
♀ 10347
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 12:07 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

how do you know which road to take

With your title, I expected there to be more of a dilemma or question. From what you described, choosing which road to take would be very easy, and you answered it yourself. You said:

Im tired and want to move on.
So file for a D and move on. My philosophy is that life is too short to waste being unhappy.

Posts: 6824 | Registered: Apr 2006
♀ 39114
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hi GottaGetThrough

i understand you are sad. from my perspective, i wish i didn't care anymore and i was just tired. I still have fight in me and I think it's likely energy wasted on a jerk. I would like like to not care anymore. That's actually a nice place to make a jump out, i think. Just, like, ahhhhh, enough. It is sad but when you're ready, not as sad as before you are ready?

Me BS 49, ExWS: narcissist! Jekyll Hyde. Left in secret early July, moved states. Left home, job, whole life behind and difficult** adjusting. Dog injured and too much to handle. Supremely bummed out.

Posts: 557 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with Bobbi_sue, for the same reason - you've stated what you want to do.

Splitting is difficult, but it sounds better than living with a guy who doesn't appreciate you.

fBH (me) - 66 on d-day, Married 43, together 45 on d-day, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
Most of us know only our own experience. That's not enough data to support a general rule that D, or R, is right in every sitch.

Posts: 16784 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 4

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