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User Topic: my response to custody due tomorrow. ..advice
♀ 40859
Member # 40859
Angry  Posted: 2:21 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a few threads on the boards about my idiot ex bf. Forgive typos I am on my phone.

Background first:

He has been verbally abusive for years Turned physical and finally had him arrested first of OCT for DV. Then got issuee a perm restraining order giving me 100% custody, child support of $1150 a month, and he got supervised visitation every other weekend to be supervised by his parents.

We were together 12 years and have a 8 year old and 6 year old together. He was never legitimate for kids.

He filed for custody and child support and to be legitimized one week after perm tpo issued. He claims the following:

1. I am addicted to drugs. I am in pain management and have been last two years for my back. I wear pain patch and must take meds at night to.sleep. never failed a drug test and never asked for any meds early. Actually I push out my appointments becaise I have extra.

2. That I drive kids around on suspended license (again not true and was VERIFIED by officer that served me.

3. That I do not have stable home (well not when you abuse us and then stalk us until we must move)

4. That I falsely accused him of DV. Ummm have you seen the pics you idiot? It also happened in front of kids.

5. That i falsely accused him of rape. Nor did I ever do this either. I was drugged by him for 14 hours and after he sends text stating he felt he raped me I went to ER and had 5 hour inyerview just saying to detective that I did not know what happened. I never said rape and when asked if I wanted to pursue I said NO.

6. That kids have expressed living with him. (Only because they are scared of him and he has threatened to spank them if they didnt say otherwise.

7. That I was online seeking donations and gifts by saying I had brain cancer. No I never did that either. He has hacked my accounts, created sex ads as me, pretended to be me etc all to make me seem unfit. He is very conning and calculating.

8. That he is a loving dad who supports his kids and tucks them in at night amd volunteers as a coach.

9. That a guardian be put in place.

Ok so here is what I can tell you that is true about him:

1. He always fighs and yells in front of kids. Always gets mad and would tell us to get the f**k out of his house. My son was 6 and told another parent those exacy words and she will testify to that.

2. He was arrested in March for revoked license and expired tag. He was arrested in June for bad check and then arrested on DV and NOW back in jail on aggrevated felony stalking. His bond is being revoked on DV arrest and he is not bondable.

3. He cheated on me for many years including an 18 year old who was a senior in high school and just turned 18 by 3 weeks when they met on CL. He stated he supplied her with weed and liquor and had 10 month affair. He has had many CL one night stands from my gatherings. Found where he also paid prostitutes and recently learned he has been with MANY trannies so I had to get tested for aids just this week.

4. He was fired for stealing $20k and blackmailed company into NOT prosecuting him. He was also gired from job right after that for fraud as well. I kmew nothing of these as we have NEVER shated anything financially.

5. Kids beg me to not make them go to visitation because they are afraid they wont get to live with me. I do NOT talk aboit this case. I simoly say oh your going to have fun and I will see you in a few days. When kids visit all he and his parents do is talk about how he has to pay me moneg to keep me happy, how I lied to the judge and that he was getting custody of them,telling them he knows where we are staying whicb is supposed to confidental. Tbey continue to strong arm kids into feeling scared if they dont say what he wants to hear. Kids come home and cry for two hours and it is hard to get them settled down

6. I habe been main care taker. He was always at work until 1-2 am EVERY night (which meamt off having sex) I am one to feed kids, bathe them, read stories, cuddle in bed, watcb movies together, play games and they are ALWAYS fighting over wbo sits by mommy at dinner or lays by her in the bed. They never want to be near him.

He isnt paying support, has harrassed and tried to intimidate my family from.testifying against me thus why back in jail. He stalked us to know we are at batteded womens shelter.

I have proof from his old boss where he looked up how to poison someone that was undectable and had no tatse or odor in food or drinks.

I have taken care of kids alone now for 2 months. They are happy, school work is better than ever and they beg me daily to make sure they live with me.

I take care of them when sick, I take them to ball games, practices, play dates etc so if I was thks "drug addict" fkr two years why would he let me be there day in and out taking care of them alone al the time?

I have an attorney in my TPO/Contempt case but have no money and live in shelter so I have to file answer on my own. The attorney for contsmpt doesnt do custody cases. It is due by 5pm today (Fri) I start my new job on the 16th and can hire one then but broke as a joke now.

Any pointers on what to say in answers to really stand out in judges eyes of how shitty he is? I just want to answer correctly.

He has done so much that I am sure I would be here a year writing this. I also habe a recording from his old boss who told me about the $20k, the trannies (and yes there are pics!) And how he asked him for weed and adderall. And how he lied so much all the time that nothing he said they ever believed.

Oh please help also where do you get a form to answer or do you just type one up?

I have been a basket case because of him so I am not thinking clear. This why I am here asking for advice

Anything else you can think to add?? Thank you for a y and all advice. I am surprised his attorney is going through with custody because he told cop other day he was quitting if he had a warrant for stalking. But I am not going to assume anything to jepordize loosing my kids you know?

Thank you!!!!!

Posts: 111 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Georgia
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would suggest going to the court's website and looking to see if the form you need to fill out is posted on there. Many have them posted on-line.

You can also Google suggestions on how to Answer correctly.

Just don't miss the filing deadline...

me...BS, 46 years old.

Posts: 4738 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
♀ 41433
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just try to keep to the facts (like you did here), point by point, and state them clearly and as calmly as you can, and you'll do fine.
He has done enough damage that his issues are loud and clear and transparent, and it's obvious that the things he is accusing YOU of are nothing but a smear campaign ( )

He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
♀ 16958
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you weren't served with a response form google "response to (name of form you were served)"
You can probably paste what you wrote here or print it as an attachment. Most courthouses have self help centers you can go to to have your papers reviewed. Sounds like he is not going to win this one! What a creep!

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!

Posts: 949 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
♀ 13447
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can the shelter give you any assistance? I would guess they've seen it all before and might have advice.

[This message edited by Holly-Isis at 9:15 AM, December 6th (Friday)]

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11650 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
♀ 36060
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You will get quite a bit of latitude from the judge regarding the exact format and wording of the form you have to file. It is not clear from your post whether it is an answer to a complaint or a response to a motion, but as someone else said, just google whatever the title of the papers you have say. The most important thing is to get something filed that denies the allegations.

Because this is a case with DV involved, try giving Legal Aid a call. They might be able to help you, or maybe suggest other resources for you to try.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 751 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Try this:

I googled it and it seems to be forms to be used for people representing themselves.

Here's another one for child custody:

I'd suggest that you do a search for the exact name of the form that you want to file, download, fill out, take your documentation, and then go to the courthouse and ask for help. One of the clerks there should be able to tell you if you have the correct form or if you need another one. But at least you'll have some info already filled out. I'd also go as early as possible as it may take some time for you to get to the front of the line. Good luck!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10172 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 40859
Member # 40859
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks all - I got my answered filed. Looks like he will be in jail a while and I don't think I really have anything to worry about but I did not wont to miss the deadline.

I called the clerk of court and they helped me with the format and all is good to go now. :) I wonder how long before I can ask for a dismissal since he appears to going to be in a jail a bit??

Posts: 111 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Georgia
Topic Posts: 8

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