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Newest Member: cordovan (53384)

User Topic: Picked out my lawyer today
♀ 39017
Member # 39017
Default  Posted: 2:41 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is no reconciling with my WH. I've come to the decision that whatever time I have left on this earth, I don't want to spend it with him. Every time he opens his mouth, I swear a lie comes flying out of it. So, I'm done. This is it. I'm in therapy, drawing angry drawings, and taking long stomping walks. WHEN AM I GONNA STOP FEELING LIKE A CRAZY PERSON? I'm not a crazy person. Seriously, I'm not!

This is awful. I don't want to do this to my kids. They don't deserve this. But I cannot be with this lying liar who lies most of the time. It's making me sick. My blood pressure is out of control. I've been drying retching today and I just hate it. I'm loosing weight because I can't eat. This is a shitty diet. I don't want to loose weight this way. I can't sleep. Sometimes I feel like a dead man walking. I have panic attacks and the chills. I'm taking Xanax every day. My heart is absolutely shattered. I have so much rage and hate for my WH, it's awful. I want out. I want to get away from him. This is going to take months. I gotta hold it together and ride the evil D I V O R C E ride.

I want to be like those crazy Italian women in the old movies - smashing plates, breaking vases, and chasing their husbands with rolling pins. I SO WANT TO ACT OUT. I won't though. I have children with my WH so we're going to be in each other's lives forever. I don't want to do something I'm going to regret later. I'm going to be a good girl. Sigh...

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO TO RELEASE THESE FEELINGS!!! I feel like I'm being cooked alive - from the inside! HELP! This is horrible awful terrible and scary! I picked out my lawyer today and I feel like shit.

I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.
― Friedrich Nietzsche

Posts: 1 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ 8637
Member # 8637
Default  Posted: 6:09 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exercise can be a great stress relief during this time. Can you try a kickboxing class, zumba or something really tiring? Either a dvd, video on demand, you tube, or an actual class would work.

Or just go for a walk.

The whole process of divorce sucks. It just does. It sucks for the kids, especially. You need to be able to handle the stress constructively.

Hang in there.

I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

If this isn't what I consider soulmate crap, I don't know what is.

Posts: 13464 | Registered: Oct 2005 | From: GA
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exercise. Find something that you can do that takes LOTS of energy. Get a plastic baseball bat and beat the hell out of your pillows. I was "lucky" in that when my DDay went down, I was training for a 60 mile Breast Cancer walk. I walked miles and miles, sometimes ranting to myself like a crazy woman. But when your adrenalin starts flowing, you need to do something physical to get it out.

If you're in a place where you can't, something that has helped me is to find myself a quiet corner, clench my fists, and then squeeze every muscle in my body as tight as I can for about 5 seconds, face too. Totally squeeze everything until your muscles are shaking, then relax, flap your arms a bit and shake out your legs. That can sometimes take the edge off.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 7010 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 3

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