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Newest Member: AmIDreaming41 (45703)

User Topic: Do you ever think of getting back?
libertyrocks
♀ 38924
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does anyone ever fantasize about getting back with ex? I do, then I think how disgusting he is and all the horrible, horrible things he did to me for so long. Then, poof, that fantasy is over. I guess we will always miss the good times, the warm thought, the good memories of why we were with them in the first place...Feeling nostalgic today because of the holidays, I guess. Too bad, he messed up so bad or else he'd have his loyal little wifie and great kids, still. Too bad for him. I actually pity the fool!! lol.


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
lieshurt
♀ 14003
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, it's not ever anything I've ever given thought too. Once I was done, I was done. And to be honest, I don't remember the good times. I know we had some, but the bad times completely overshadowed them so that's all I remember from my time with him.


Sometimes the strongest people hide the deepest pain.

Posts: 13832 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
HurtsButImOK
♀ 38865
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did at one point, even wrote out a list of R requirements. It was helpful as I knew he was incapable of meeting them. Re-affirmed to me that there is no going back.


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10004 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
BrokenDaisy
♀ 37063
Member # 37063
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What nature_girl said!!


Me BxW, him SA NPD WxH
1 wonderful toddler - sole legal custody to me and supervised visitation to xwh.
DDay 01/2012
10/2013 Finally Divorced!!

Posts: 266 | Registered: Oct 2012
traicionada
♀ 10310
Member # 10310
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The nostalgic naive girl who married her HS boyfriend will always wonder what if. The grown up who had her hearth broken into a million piece won't ever allowed her mind to wonder nonsense


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3351 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
thyme2go
♂ 12908
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does anyone ever fantasize about getting back with ex?

What?


-t2g


BH - no longer 49
3 DD's - (29, 25 and 18)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9192 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nope.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3235 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Hope24
♀ 9344
Member # 9344
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had the opportunity to reconcile post D and decided against it. He is in my (romantic) past now. No regrets.


She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.

Posts: 7605 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Poolside
wildbananas
♀ 10552
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Once we separated for the last time, nope, not even once.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15433 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
nutmegkitty
♀ 33882
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NO WAY IN HELL.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2611 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
miadianna
♀ 10516
Member # 10516
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never, never, ever. I gave him too many chances to become a better person and do the right thing and he never did. Won't even acknowledge he has done anything wrong.

Once I was done, I was done. And to be honest, I don't remember the good times. I know we had some, but the bad times completely overshadowed them so that's all I remember from my time with him.
The bad went on so long, I really can't remember much else anymore.


Me: BS 53
Son: 27 years old
Daughter: 25 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Divorced 4/10/08

Posts: 7485 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
soverybetrayed
♀ 32948
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes I did. I gave him the offer to reconcile if he got anger management, stopped the drinking and some other stuff. He led me on for months thinking he really wanted to work it out but at the same time telling everyone he was divorcing me cause "I didn't like his music or his friends". Once I heard that shit from people I got royally pissed and made a lovely fb post stating "stop lying about your wife and admit to the 5 women you cheated with". I left it up for roughly 9 hours. I had no idea that all of his friends could see it (I am so fb illiterate), I just thought he would see it. Man was he pissed off cause I told the world he wasn't "Mr. Wonderful".

Now when I get nostalgic and think of the marriage I remind myself of the emotional, verbal and darn near physical abuse that I put up with and I slap myself back to reality. I don't even know the man he is now but I don't like him and would rather spend life alone than tolerating all his npd crap.

Make a list of all the reasons why you left him/her and put it up on your fridge. When you get lonely or sad.. go and read it and you will see why you are so much better off without the cheater. You deserve better, you deserve love, you deserve happiness and you deserve peace.


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1216 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Texas
little turtle
♀ 15584
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I gave XH a final chance several months after we divorced. We lasted a year before I found out he had recently gotten back together with OW...I knew he had kept in touch with her throughout the year, but I had high hopes that he was done seeing her. After that, that was the end of it for me.


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4223 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
clralb
♀ 17185
Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hah! No freakin' way.

I fantasize now and then of kicking him to the curb the first year of marriage. I astound myself with how naive I was.


"To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear."
Buddha

Posts: 682 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
Got2GO
♀ 26576
Member # 26576
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Omg! I actually opened up this forum because I thought it was more on the lines of "do you ever think of getting back... at him", lol!
I have thought of getting a couple of crack heads or someone to just rob and maybe just beat the shit out if him. Not kill him that's probably what he wants! Just kind of brake a few bones ya know. I know this sounds sick but it's just what I thought this was about.


BS (me) 47
WS (him) 70
Together 7 1/2 years
married 6 years
no children together
Happily divorced 1/29/13!

Posts: 111 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: got2go
phmh
♀ 34146
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope -- any fantasies revolve around listening to my gut way early on and dating one of the other guys interested in me at the same time I chose XWH (college, so more options then.) I loved being married, and think about how much better it would have been had I chosen to marry a good man.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny


Posts: 3456 | Registered: Dec 2011
gahurts
♂ 33699
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh NO! That ship sailed a long time ago. Nothing could make me go there again.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3467 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
mandan66
♂ 40075
Member # 40075
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Got2Go---I checked this post thinking the same thing you were---hilarious! Although I don't think I would go so far as paying some crack heads to settle things. Maybe just put her in one of those stock things like they did in medieval times, in the middle of the town square. For like a week or so.
On a side note, I'd swallow 10 gallons of melted glass before I'd hook up with my loser X again.


Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
M:18--T:19
DDay: Jan/13
Divorced and Done!--7/13

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: KS
Lost15
♀ 40898
Member # 40898
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am still going through the divorce process but yes at times. I think part of my feelings come from the fact that I didn't have a even a chance at R, he was already gone before I even knew what was happening. Some days I wonder if in a few years we could get back together. Then reality hits and I realize I don't want someone like that, a lier and cheater who will hurt the one person who loved him unconditionally. I know I am still healing. One day I will be like many of you and my answer will be Hell NO everyday instead of every few days.


me(BS)-34 him(WS)-32 DS-15
Married 15 years
Blindsided with divorce 07-12-13
DD-08-1-13 OW-40ish,married 20 yrs, with 4 kids she abandoned
Divorcing and trying to move one tiny step forward at a time.

Posts: 114 | Registered: Oct 2013
Topic Posts: 47
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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