It was much easier for me to embrace the "Screw you OW, he's mine!" mentality with a couple glasses of wine in you
That was my strategy in the beginning. it definitely helped me get through some of the worst times in the beginning. I also took the attitude of "If this is happening, I am getting something out of it." (New attitude for me, as I have never been very selfish or demanding in bed.) Man, I've learned all kinds of wonderful things about asking for what you want. Sorry, TMI?
And I agree with Sister - once I did it the first time, each time after that became easier and easier.
We still had hiccups, depending on what our talks were about that night. The nights I asked for more details, or she tried to stalk him were a little more difficult.
But when things are ok and we are in a good place, our intimacy has been really something special- not HB- its more "real" now. It has really been helping us and now I am with bionicgal- a few flashes of "did they do this?" and then I shake my brain and get back into the program.
I am so very happy for you! Enjoy him and enjoy yourself! This is a wonderful thing to celebrate