It's like we weren't enough to fill his desires.
It's not because you were too much or not enough of anything ! His character,intergrity,loyalty and personality is very broken. Only if he recognizes this will he ever be able to fix it.
Many people won't do the hard work to fix themselves.
You can't do it for him, there is nothing you can say or do to make him either.
FT hid his real self from me for over 25 yrs, yes, they can and do live a lie in a marriage to us. It comes back to the fact, they made the choice to cheat, you didn't give him permission to be in an open marriage.
The good news you can work on what caused you not see and why you accepted a broken person in your life.
The first days/weeks/months after separation are almost unbearable because a huge void is now in your life and the rejection was horrible for me.
You may not have been the best wife 100% of the time but that isn't why he cheated. Only he can dig and find out his whys of why he allowed himself to seek validation from someone else. Many WSes can't face their truths so they blame us.
Hugs and keep busy and try new or old things forgotten in your life.
[This message edited by gma56 at 4:41 PM, December 6th (Friday)]