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User Topic: Xwh blames someone else again: Underwear Saga Pt. II
tryingagain74
♀ 33698
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This time, it's DD. Why wasn't she wearing any underwear? Not because they didn't do laundry... not because the Owife said it was okay and that her DD has done this before. Oh no; DD is now a skilled liar who has come up with these very specific excuses so that she doesn't get in trouble with me. According to XWH, this is what really happened:

DD had underwear in her drawer. I've already instructed her to let me know if she can't find any and that not wearing underwear is bad. Thanks for the headsup though.

Now, I know that kids can be liars, and I don't think that my children are perfect little angels who never do anything wrong. But... well, I know my DD. She would say, "Mommy, I forgot to put on underwear" or "I couldn't find any, so I just didn't wear any." She has told me when she's run out of things before (like when I haven't put the clean clothing in their drawers yet). I can't imagine where she'd get details like "stepmom does this with her DD and says that it's no big deal" or "They said the laundry wasn't ready." My DD knows that I would not be angry that she wasn't wearing underwear, so she would have no reason to lie to me, and if she did fabricate those stories, well, that's a first. She's never done that before, so I can't believe she's starting now.

XWH, however, has a delightful track record of being a complete liar, so how nice to see that he's keeping up his streak. I'm sure he wrote that to me so that if I ever tried to use that email against him, he could produce his fabricated response to show that it was just some fanciful response from a five-year old and not his piss-poor parenting at work.


FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3659 | Registered: Oct 2011
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Holy fuck...I just posted on the original thread and bam...dopey adds fuel to the fire.

That guy is a fucking ass. He threw his little girl under the bus. Are you fucking kidding me?

This just pisses me the fuck off.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4819 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
tryingagain74
♀ 33698
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. I don't want to hear it from people who feel it's SO important for the kids to have both parents in their lives. It's only important when both parents actually love the kids, have their best interests in mind, and want to contribute to their kids' lives in healthy and productive ways.

My XWH doesn't care about anyone but HIMSELF. That does not make for a good parent. That does not make for a good role model. All he cares about is how he appears, and honestly, that's the sole motivator in his regular child support payments and visitations. He wants to look good to his parents, his friends, and most importantly, to himself. He wants to be able to look in the mirror and give himself a mental pat on the back for being such a good dad. Just because he doesn't molest his kids, beat them to a pulp, or starve them, he thinks that he is father of the year.

But, guess what, XWH? I SEE YOU. And little by little, YOUR KIDS SEE YOU. WE SEE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE. He isn't fooling anyone but himself and the Owife, and maybe he doesn't even fool her.


FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3659 | Registered: Oct 2011
newlysingle
♀ 38735
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Gnat throws DD under the bus all time too. DD told me recently that he and Hello Kitty were planning to breed her dog in their backyard and sell the puppies for extra money. The Gnat and I used to do a ton of volunteer work for the Humane Society and worked a lot in their spay/neuter program. Basically, helping to spread the word about how the negative impact of backyard dog breeding.

Him earning extra money came up one time, so I asked him if this was one of his plans. He said he had no idea what DD was talking about and that she must have made that up. Really? My six year old suddenly knew all about backyard breeding and that it was a way to earn money? Fuck you, Gnat.

These assholes have no morals. I can' believe they sent your DD to school with no underwear on. Yes, I'm sure OW thought it was completely normal, because dirty whores like herself often go without underwear.


BW - Me (38)
XWH -The Gnat
OW - Hello Kitty the Whore Engaged to the Gnat. I hear the white trash, wedding bells as we speak.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (7), 1 DS (2)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 983 | Registered: Mar 2013
dmari
♀ 37215
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unbelievable. What a spineless asshole! I don't know what else to say. I feel bad for you because your kiddos are still so young ~ you have many years in front of you to deal with this POS.

I forgot to add that my stbx did this to me just once at court (I am NC queen). He came into my home by pushing our son out of the way. He then told me that THAT didn't happen and that our DS lied. And then said (in a whiny baby poor me voice) "You know I wouldn't do that because that was done to ME ..." blah blah blah more about him, him, him, him, remember he is the victim. I simply told him to stop talking to me and when he didn't listen, I completely ignored him.

[This message edited by dmari at 10:23 PM, December 6th (Friday)]


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2330 | Registered: Oct 2012
FirstLoveGone
♀ 25957
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a fucking piece of lowlife garbage. If he didn't want to admit to sending DD to school with no underwear he could have just ignored your email. But instead he sinks to what gutter trash would do and throws DD under the bus.

Disgusting pig.

I am so livid for you and DD right now.


Posts: 1278 | Registered: Oct 2009
anewday78
♂ 39357
Member # 39357
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, December 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would respond to this. I really would. There's no winning this argument on HIS END. "I'm not interested in hearing excuses. DD is a young child. It is up to the adults in her life to ensure she is adequately prepared in the morning. This is the first time she's ever gone without underpants. See to it that it's the last."

[This message edited by anewday78 at 10:47 PM, December 6th (Friday)]


Posts: 350 | Registered: May 2013
stronger08
♂ 16953
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 1:26 AM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WTF ? IDK about the rest of you, but my kids always had/have dozens of pairs of clean underwear and socks at all times. I'm the same way, I have entire drawers full of them. Tell the asshole to go out and buy some and keep them at his place. My youngest who is still underage has a complete wardrobe at my place. In fact, when he goes home he always takes clothes from here to his moms. When I start running low I tell her and she sends them back.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5904 | Registered: Nov 2007
sinsof thefather
♀ 29295
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 2:30 AM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aside from the fact that I believe too, that he is lying because he knows what happened was indefensible - he then states that they leave a five year old girl to dress herself and don't check everything is OK before she leaves the house? So not only is she lying but it's all her own fault too? Wow. Dad of the year.

I'm with anewday on this.

I would respond to this. I really would. There's no winning this argument on HIS END. "I'm not interested in hearing excuses. DD is a young child. It is up to the adults in her life to ensure she is adequately prepared in the morning. This is the first time she's ever gone without underpants. See to it that it's the last."


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1902 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
suckstobeme
♀ 30853
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 5:49 AM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right, because that's something that parents regularly have to drum into little girls' heads - that "it's bad not to wear underwear.". Uh huh.

She was obviously so uncomfortable she would have never chosen that on her own. I'm even more convinced of that because she was wearing heavy winter tights with no underwear - talk about even more uncomfortable than if she had on a pair of loose fitting pants.

The only response I would give him is the one my IC suggests whenever my ex pulls this kind of crap and tries to throw the kids under the bus - " just so I understand, you're saying DD, our five year old, is a liar. Ok."

This guy is a low life POS and so is OWife. I hope you see crystal clear now that her bullshit about everyone doing homework around the table together and playing happy content family is nothing but a giant crock of shit. True colors are out and just like that stupid dirty slunt in my situation, OWife could care less about your kids.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2907 | Registered: Jan 2011
Mousse242
♀ 6330
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have a counselor document her story. You need this kind of stuff on record.

Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is such a liar.

Why in the hell would she purposely make herself uncomfortable, irritate her privates for the WHOLE DAY, then create this whole story to cover up for her non-underwear wearing?

OF COURSE it's not his fault. Nothing ever is. It's the rest of the world that's wrong, not him.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3559 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't want to hear it from people who feel it's SO important for the kids to have both parents in their lives.
You KNOW you won't hear this from me.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3559 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope you see crystal clear now that her bullshit about everyone doing homework around the table together and playing happy content family is nothing but a giant crock of shit.
YES YES YES!!!!


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3559 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Hope24
♀ 9344
Member # 9344
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sweet Jesus, these people are trash.

I still think you should do this:

Send extra underwear in ziplock bags.

Your ex wins the award for Asshole of the Year. Or at least he's in the running with Tesla's ex.

We still have 2.5 weeks left in 2013.



She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.

Posts: 7605 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Poolside
tryingagain74
♀ 33698
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have documented this and plan on sharing it with the counselor when we set up an appointment. Interestingly enough, DD did not say anything to me about having a talk with XWH about how it's important to wear underpants, so I'm guessing that his little "talk" with her was a lie that he threw out there in the hopes that I might believe him and think that he's being a good parent.

Yeah. That ship sailed ages ago, pal. You were a mediocre dad when we were married, and you now behave like you are completely inept.

Man, did I ever hold up our family when we were together. He proves that more and more to me every day. Those poor stepkids. I have no idea what the Owife's ex is like, but if he's as big a doofus as XWH and the Owife prove they are every day, those kids don't stand a chance. You know what the Owife told her DD when she asked why she wasn't in the school-run support group for kids dealing with divorce (all three of my kids are)? She told her DD that she "didn't need it." Unbelievable. If anything, her kids probably need it more than mine do.


FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3659 | Registered: Oct 2011
anewday78
♂ 39357
Member # 39357
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know what the Owife told her DD when she asked why she wasn't in the school-run support group for kids dealing with divorce (all three of my kids are)? She told her DD that she "didn't need it." Unbelievable. If anything, her kids probably need it more than mine do.
Wow! They dont "need it" because their mother doesn't need any awkward questions from her kids as they try to make sense of the chaos she brought into their lives. Fucking pig. Just one question, how do you know this? Are these conversations she's having in front of your kids? Makes me wonder what other kind of shit she's saying in front of them. Be on guard.
Eta- after I posted this bitter, hateful, and foul response, I looked at the little xmas animation under my username - a cute little squirrel peeking out from under a santa hat - and couldn't help but laugh at the stark contrast between the two. It just goes to show that these assholes can really shit all over even the most happiest times of the year if you let them.

[This message edited by anewday78 at 10:04 PM, December 8th (Sunday)]


Posts: 350 | Registered: May 2013
stronggirl72
♀ 37293
Member # 37293
Default  Posted: 6:42 AM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know what the Owife told her DD when she asked why she wasn't in the school-run support group for kids dealing with divorce (all three of my kids are)? She told her DD that she "didn't need it." Unbelievable. If anything, her kids probably need it more than mine do.

Personally, as arduous as it was at first, I have never felt more free once I decided to not focus so much (or at all) about what the Owife and the Skids (in my situation) are doing. Maybe they are in IC, maybe not, but you'll drive yourself crazy thinking about them at this level. It's not easy but is absolutely necessary for everyday sanity, and real long-term healing.

(((TA74)))

[This message edited by stronggirl72 at 7:25 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)]


"Taking the high road, and doing it with class."

DIVORCED!!


Posts: 155 | Registered: Oct 2012
tryingagain74
♀ 33698
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

stronggirl, I absolutely feel the same way, but I vent here because my kids tell me these things (without ANY prompting... honestly, the less they tell me about their visits to XWH, the happier my life is). I want to be an open line of communication for them, especially if something bad happens at XWH's house, but unfortunately, that comes with hearing everything about what goes on over there. I don't encourage it in the least; while I feel sorry for her kids, I will tell the kids that they are HER kids, and how she raises them is her business. I am also getting better every day at remaining carefully neutral when they tell me things. After all of the lying and poor behavior my XWH has demonstrated, it's getting easier to manage my emotions when they hit me with a new zinger.

anewday-- yes, she says things in front of my kids, like how she felt it was "inappropriate" (that's their favorite word to use about my parenting so that they can feel superior... notice I used it in my message about the underwear to them) for me to show my kids the movie Oz the Great and Powerful. Um... only I never showed that movie to my kids... I said we'd probably watch it together some day.

Ah, life with the CommandOwife and her Ziploc hubby is just so peachy sometimes!


FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3659 | Registered: Oct 2011
Lola2kids
♀ 32789
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah, life with the CommandOwife and her Ziploc hubby is just so peachy sometimes!

LMAO!!!
This is just too funny.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1477 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
Topic Posts: 21
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