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Here I am in the effing plain of lethal flatness
Brought on by work Xmas do. No choice about attending as I'm one of the bosses. Always hateful. Last year he was right in the middle of his A and texting OW full of resentment of being at home with the kids while I was out "having fun"
Left yesterday as early as I could. Felt rubbish ever since. We are getting our tree today. The kids need a good Xmas. I've been trying so hard to get going re Xmas. Will do some online shopping later. Together for the first ever time.
But I just don't want to do anything.

Please someone reassure me that I can do this R thing

Hi MWE,

I think that is the underlying reason that so many of us BS's find ourselves here on the R forum. We want reassurance that we can make it through this and one day our happiness will return.
Be certain that you are not alone in your feelings.
I am thinking that when we take this incredible emotional task that has been laid before us and combine that with the emotionally charged holiday season we can feel overwhelmed so easily.
This time last year while we were in MC our C gave us a suggestion . She suggested that it would be helpful to try to create a few new traditions for ourselves; to abandon our old traditions, where possible and create new ones. I don't know if something like that sounds possible for you, but it helped me (us) get through the holidays last year.
I hope you are able to find joy this holiday season. Spending time focused on your children and giving them some good holiday memories may help.