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Newest Member: roadrunner04 (61465)

User Topic: Having neurosurgery dec 20th
♀ 29194
Member # 29194
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not sure were to put this but I definitely need some support. I have a left accoustic neuroma that a neurosurgeon will attempt to remove. The good news is that it is not cancer. The bad news is that given where the tumor is I have a 50-70% chance of losing functional hearing in my left ear and may have balance deficits that will require months of PT. And what's really hard given my type a personality - is that so much of it will require a "wait and see approach" -I have a 6yo and 4 yo so I need to be able to plan some stuff out. My ex is a physician and somehow this always helped me feel calmer My parents are coming for the surgery as is my sister who is a nurse I just can't seem to locate that fight to feel like I'm going to come through the other side of this ok

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jul 2010
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sarah - Sending you strength and comfort in the days leading up to the surgery, and mojo for a swift and full recovery afterward.

You can do this, honey. ((((hugs))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40247 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ 24961
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You can do this Sarah. You know what you have, you know the good, and the bad. You know the chances of the good and bad happening, and it sounds like you have a lot of support. I don't know what your relationship is like with your XH, but I'm thinking him, along with your sister will use their medical knowledge to make sure you get the best possible outcome.

I know it's hard, but try not to buy trouble. You don't know the "worse case" is going to happen. You could get best case. The kids are going to be looked after with your parents there, and you are going to get through this! We are all here behind you!

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

Posts: 5919 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
♀ 34146
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're going to be OK.

I know this sounds so hokey, but attitude is so important. I know it's so scary, but believe that you'll come through it.

Please update us -- looking forward to hearing a positive result!

Sending you huge hugs. (((Sarah)))

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 4467 | Registered: Dec 2011
♀ 34373
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Sarah))) you are stronger than you know and braver than you think. Keep the best case options in the forefront of your mind.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1858 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
♀ 16958
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sure you will do great, most people with this condition don't have any long lasting problems once it is taken out (I'm a physician but not sleazy like your ex lol)

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!

Posts: 949 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
♀ 14918
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, December 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Huge well wishes and hope you have a speedy recovery. Just know that 40+ thousand people are sending powerful SI mojo and are very much surrounding you and holding you up as you go through this.
God speed, Sarah. Keep us updated.

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1608 | Registered: Jun 2007
♀ 38735
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 12:26 AM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can only imagine how scary this must be to be facing. Especially being responsible for two young children. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please keep us updated on your healing.

BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 1268 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: AZ
♀ 41441
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 6:42 AM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope you see this post
I found I too had a brain tumor requiring surgery. 18 months out of work. Loss of vision and balance and possible hemorrhage leading to possible death where the tumor was located...that was when my exWH started the divorce leaving me with no insurance so surgery went out the window and I waited for my death.
I looked into experiment treatments. Two years ago I found 4 hospitals in the country (now I'm sure there are more) doing wonderful treatments with laser and radiation. Please get one more opinion if you have time...these places sponsored by the Mayo clinic. I went to Robert Wood University in NJ and there were others in Minnesota. Jacksonville. Phoenix. Please try they are doing amazing things with tumors MS and much motr more

Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 460 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: SWFL
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You can do this.
Thinking about you and sending mojo.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4962 | Registered: Jan 2012
♀ 33523
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I'm glad you'll have family to help support you. You have the thoughts and prayers of us here.

Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long
Now: happy in life, happily in love with the RIGHT man -----> Everything is as it should be

Posts: 940 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: The Hostile City
solus sto
♀ 30989
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Sarah))) I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. December 20 is a good day for girls who put up a good fight; it's the day I was born, very early, in an era when preemies did not fare well. I think you're a tough cookie like me. You'll fight, too.

I understand how "wait and see" can be touch." It's difficult for me, too--especially since I now feel as though I wasted a huge chunk of my life waiting and seeing--only to be shown how foolish that was.

But you will do fine. I just know it.

You have all of us pulling for you.

BS-me, 55; WX-irrelevant
Divorced after an eternity
"So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tenn

Posts: 15287 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
♀ 29194
Member # 29194
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, December 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much for the support, kind words, and prayers. They truly make me feel supported. I did a ton of research and met with three different nuerosurgery teams before deciding to go with one, so, I am confidant I will be getting state of the art care. And, in all likelihood, most of the side effects with balance and dizziness can be worked through with a few months of pt. Plenty of people have partial to full hearing loss in one ear and it doesn't impact their day to day lives

I don't want people to jump on me because I agree that having that grit, that instinct that you r going to make it through this is essential. And I just don't have it. I have sat down a few times to write a just in case letter to the kids but always end up crying. So, it's not that I want to die -I am just so down and beat up. My x picked Friday to send me a settlement agreement that did not have any facts correct (come on lawyer, u should look at the 16c statement to see what my income is and you'll see it's $11k less than your client claimed). Just overwhelmed

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jul 2010
Topic Posts: 13

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