I had to deal with that, too. I was in fear for my life! Let me share with you how I got out:
* Absolute secrecy except for a select few. I went to a lawyer & filed secretly. Made sure ex didn't know what I had planned. Part of the filing included me getting temporary exclusive use of the family home, forbidding him from coming back on the property, and temporary full custody of the kids.
* Coordinated with the process server, a few friends & family, a few trusted people at church, and one trusted neighbor, for when The Big Day would happen.
* Followed the steps in my escape plan to be sure I had everything ready.
* When The Big Day came I got up as soon as ex left for work. I had a locksmith come over & change the locks. Rented a PO Box & changed my address. Activated a cell phone for me. Packed up about 10-12 hefty bags of his stuff & put on porch.
* I'd already packed a bag for me & hidden it. So I packed my kids' stuff and we got the hell out of Town!
* Ex came home to his shit Hefty Bagged on the porch and a process server to give him the divorce papers. The kids & I stayed out of town until mutual acquaintances told me ex had calmed down & it would probably be safe for us to come home.