If you let him back in and he does it again, how old will you be next time, 60, 70?
How do I move forward, do I stop having any contact with him what so ever other than through a lawyer? Why do I even care if I am done with him...
I worked in a bar for years, met x (a musician) working. We were married for 30 years because I was clueless to his multiple A's. We've been D'd nearly 2 years. I heard the suicide bit, the "I can't live without you" line. In fact, I still get "woe is me" - "I love you" and "I can't believe what a fool I've been" emails.
But I spent enough time snooping real time to discover that "his undying love and faithfulness" was concurrently offered even as he continued to flirt, swoon over, and pick up other women. My X is a "love bomber" (you may want to look up the term). He was all talk and no real actions when he spoke of R. He wasn't remorseful, sorry maybe, but that looks suspiciously akin to self-pity.
No two situations or WS's are the same - but I advise you take a good look at his "sorry" and if possible continue recording to see what the translation of sorry is. At 55 - I get not wanting to be alone, but sometimes the alternative is not a better offer.
[This message edited by Take2 at 8:57 AM, December 9th (Monday)]
But this last time, I just stopped giving a crap. Being broke and alone actually seemed better to me! That is when I knew it was time. I no longer cared! And he did the same crying bit and played on my emotions. The only difference this time was that I did not cave in. He begged and pleaded and swore he would win me back. After three weeks.......he gave up and began dating his mistress out in the open. Now he doesn't even talk to me!!!!
I guess what I am trying to say (and every WH is different for sure) put him to the test. If he really cares and really wants to fix things than he will show you. Ask yourself why after all of these years HE doesn't look at your marriage the same way you did?! Why didn't he value it like you did? Why was it so easy for him to invest time and energy in another woman instead of you?
Don't make it easy for him. Make it real tough and see what he is made of.