Some background info: I came to SI in 2007 when he was in the middle of an affair with a married coworker. I did everything wrong. Begged pleaded blamed myself etc. He showed a little regret but no real remorse. I accepted that because I thought I couldn't live without him.
He got very upset whenever I told any of our mutual friends, I guess it was to protect his image. Neveind that I needed their support.
This time after I told him I was ready to divorce and he actually saw the paperwork and all he has since come to me and said he wants to reconcile.
He has since taken it upon himself to out the affair he had to anyone and everyone who asks about his demotion.
My issue is that he says he "slept with a coworker" which to me makes it sound like a ONS. Mind you this was a six month long affair including gas lighting rewriting marital history... the works.
My IC said this is a big step for him. I think she is letting him off easy. He starts IC this week. What do you all think? Am I being petty or is he minimizing?
him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis
4 kids 15 13 12 8
Earned my *F* the hard way.
For him, who has had a hard time even admitting guilt outside of just our marriage, I am wondering if this a baby step towards remorse. He HAS to feel guilty to feel remorseful, doesn't he? If so, then maybe IC is right and I could mentally cut him some slack.
I agree that I wouldn't really want him to say anything at all. I'm a big fan of privacy. Hate drama and gossip and outing affairs to the public tends to bring those things. However, if WH did discuss the affair, I wouldn't want him to minimize it. At all. And that is what he's doing, which would upset me, too.
What do you want from him? What do you want him to say? Have you told him? Try telling him and see if he follows through.
Finding out that their "relationship" has been reduced to "sleeping together" in his eyes shows how little she meant to him. We all work for the same company but she is in a different location. I know word gets back to her and honestly, EVERYONE already knew about their A once I found out because SHE ran her mouth.
It's why he was demoted.