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General :
I will not engage in their drama

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 nekorb (original poster member #40306) posted at 3:24 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

My WH just posted a link to his FB page (He rarely if ever uses FB, but OW uses it frequently). It's a link to an article about a group at work that he runs and OW works as part of the team…and dont you know…there's a big old picture of the group, with him standing right next to her with his arm around her.

Yeah - we are still married and still living together…could you have a little respect?

Apparently not.

I will not be acknowledging it to him. It's a picture of the group of people who were more important to him than coming to his daughter's first family session in her new outpatient program….it was their christmas party...

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

posts: 5796   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6590507
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Kalliopeia ( member #35053) posted at 3:29 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

how old is the pic?

If it is newer than DD then wtf?

He would be hearing about it from me.

posts: 478   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2012
id 6590520
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 nekorb (original poster member #40306) posted at 3:31 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

the pic is from last week….

I'm sure posting it was OW's idea. I will not be engaging. It wont make a difference if I say anything anyway. He doesn't care if it hurts me or not.

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

posts: 5796   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6590524
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karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 3:33 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

Is he friends with his kids on facebook?

I am sorry he is such an ass

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

posts: 4036   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Massachusetts
id 6590527
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Kalliopeia ( member #35053) posted at 3:34 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

Your husband knows the status quo. He controls his own self and what he does with his body.

It was his choice to disrespect you by not only what he did before, but even standing close to her and putting his arm around her, knowing you may see it.

He is still in the affair on some level.

I am so angry for you. His stuff needs heftied and dropped on the kerb.

posts: 478   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2012
id 6590529
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 nekorb (original poster member #40306) posted at 3:45 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

Only our oldest DD18 has FB - the other kids are not allowed yet. I often wonder how she will feel when she realizes this person is her dad's AP.

Kalliopeia - the A is still active and going on. Wh is waiting for the "go ahead" from DD17's psych and counselor to leave - she is not currently equipped, emotionally, to deal with any of this.

I asked him to please be respectful and not flaunt the A. Guess that request was lost on him.

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

posts: 5796   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6590545
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headdesk ( member #40787) posted at 9:06 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

I would be bringing all of this up to the dr - if he has a more complete understanding of the picture he may not suggest that WH stay around at all.

Me: 39
WH: 42
DDay:Sep 19 2013 (only TT of EA)
Oct 4th 2013 revealed PA through snooping.
Marred 16 years, together for 20. Looking to R at this time. We have awesome kids (12/14).

posts: 273   ·   registered: Sep. 25th, 2013
id 6591027
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Kalliopeia ( member #35053) posted at 9:38 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

oh. ftg

posts: 478   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2012
id 6591081
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overandone ( member #39162) posted at 9:57 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

Bastard! How will DD feel when she sees this? How about pointing that out to him?

Me - BW (54)
Him - fWS (61)
kiddies - daughters 22 and 27,son 22,
d-day - April 18 2012
15 years on/off LTA
R - but lots of bumps in the long road

posts: 310   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: uk
id 6591115
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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 10:03 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013

So he knows if your DD finds out, it might send her over the edge..yet he posts a pic of him with his arm around his whore on facebook?

I would consider that abusive. Towards you and your children.

This man is a shitty father and a lousy excuse for a man.

BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10



..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


posts: 15220   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2011
id 6591127
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 nekorb (original poster member #40306) posted at 12:23 AM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013

You know headdesk, I never thought of that….mentiong it to the doc/counselor as additional information…

the DD that has the FB account is not the one with the difficulties right now. Although the one with FB is going to be CRUSHED when she finds out. Her Daddy is her everything…good Christian role model, family man, etc, etc.

Its just going to suck all the way around.

I cant even guess how my 15 year old son is going to handle it.

The pic was a group photo…but he was standing next to her with his arm around her…it wouldn't be obvious to anyone else that they are a couple, I dont think…its just the POINT….just keep throwing it in my face….

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

posts: 5796   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6591336
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 nekorb (original poster member #40306) posted at 12:24 AM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013

(what does "ftg" stand for??)

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

posts: 5796   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6591337
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 12:31 AM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013

Fuck that guy. FTG.

So appropriate in so many cases.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6591357
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cantgetup ( member #36146) posted at 3:50 AM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013

Ugh for you. You keep your eye on the ball for those kids.

posts: 319   ·   registered: Jul. 16th, 2012
id 6591586
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Holly-Isis ( member #13447) posted at 11:02 AM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013

If it wasn't for the kids I'd say hack into his account and change his relationship status to "in a relationship with OW."

If you're not going to block him, at least start taking screen caps of these little digs. You never know when you're going to need proof and even if it's not much, a preponderance of evidence goes a long way towards fighting the "you're imagining things" argument. It can also be used in court in some cases.

FYI- I have my mom blocked and she still has me listed by name in her family list. So your DD might not even be able to notice. She'd have to see your newsfeed and care enough to see if your name is clickable where you're tagged. It sounds like he's already removed all of that though.

I highly recommend blocking for your sanity.

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

posts: 11713   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2007   ·   location: Just a fool in limbo
id 6591791
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 nekorb (original poster member #40306) posted at 12:32 PM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013

I've decided just to stay off FB. I don't really post there, just troll around and message a couple of people. I just moved the convo to texting on my phone.

I wont miss FB….I've never been a huge fan anyway….WH doesnt really post there either, which is partially why I think OW posted the link. (she has his login info etc for FB)

Whatever!!

I will say that WH's aunt commented on the photo (she told me so I wouldn't have to go back and LOOK at it again….):

"A picture is worth 1000 words."

She said if it gets deleted she will repost a million times, she's got the time. LOL

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

posts: 5796   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6591839
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