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Vist from sil

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StillLivin posted 12/9/2013 12:11 PM

I've had so much support from my ILs. All of them, that I didn't have the heart to express how hurtful our conversation was.
Here I can vent.
STBXH returned Saturday from Afghanistan (I think, strict NC now except money issues).
My 2d favorite SIL called me a week ago to tell me she wants to come out here to visit me and she intends to stay with me.
I explained that her brother might feel it as a betrayal. She told me she didn't care if he got mad she was coming out to see me.
Yesterday, she told me she is still coming, but she wants to stay with her brother first, then come stay with me.
I think when she decides to visit, I will just have to be out of town. I cannot be around someone who condones that nasty whore. I just can't. I understand her loyalty to her brother, but I don't at the same time.
If it were my brother, who I consider the epitomy of honorable, and he did his wife so dirty, I would have NOTHING to do with his whore.
He saw our mother cheated on over and over. I would still love him, but he would have to come see me without his whore.
But, I'm the kind of person that feels there is black and white, no in between most times.
How have others dealt with this issue? I don't want to cut my ILs out of my life completely and I won't. I just can't stand to have to deal with the drama of drop off time and seeing his dirty ass or his nasty whore.
Any advice is appreciated.

thebighurt posted 12/9/2013 12:24 PM

No advice, but wanted you to know you were heard and that I agree about family.

But my experience with my XILs is much different. He went from taking me with him to taking slut the very next time they got together, which had been every week!

I have heard little or nothing in almost a year from XILs and the last contact was initiated by me with one my age who has, or rather, HAD always been my friend. Crickets on both sides since.

hardtimesinlife posted 12/9/2013 14:34 PM

It sucks, StillLivin but consider telling her that you want her to visit YOU first so that she doesn't bring whore-germs into your house. Maybe then you can tell her that while you are trying to understand her wanting to maintain relationship with her brother it still bothers you.

IDK, just my .02 but that way you aren't cutting her out until you've had a chance to sit with it a while, ya know?

StillLivin posted 12/9/2013 17:45 PM

hardtimes, I don't want her to visit at all with me if she is gonna accept a whore who did me so dirty. To me this is the ultimate in betrayal.
I have no problem when I visit MIL and FIL of seeing her then, but I don't want anybody in my home that condones dirty even by lack of action.
She is a single parent and I know she can't afford a hotel, so she will have to stay with him and her. He is her favorite brother, but to me it's black and white.
I was just wondering if others saw this the same way, or if there was some kind of compromise that didn't go against my morals.

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